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  Sensitive one here as well. I have often attributed it to my hearing loss/tinnitus but I had a spell of dissociation when a couple of dudes were shouting at each other in a grocery store parking lot last month. I wasn't even in the same lane as them but I was ducking for cover and trying to hide beside my Jeep. Hispanic men speaking to each other can sometimes trigger me due to some specific trauma from my youth but thats understandable on its own. I live near an air force base and the jets are neat to watch but the noise really jangles my nerves. But its not just noise...sometimes its the vibe, something in the atmosphere that causes similar feelings to the ones I get with noise. Either way, you are certainly not alone. 

Thanks for the support. I did find out today that my SSDI case is finally assigned to a decision writer. The hearing was in Sept., the ALJ made her decision on 11/5/2017 and I know I've put a huge amount of energy into being "patient". Tomorrow I see my latest therapist for our 5th visit. I may just start believing that she's not going anywhere and that I can begin to open up to her. Thanks again woodsgnome and sanmagic7.

For me, its anything that follows the D word. Deserve. Food, love, sex, support, understanding, space, privacy, etc... I find that Financial security is more about what is earned than deserved.  It was implied, stated and exhibited that I was low on whatever it took to deserve "fill in the blank" in my childhood.  Unless, of course it was more abuse. So I have spent much time and energy to strip the word deserve from my vocabulary. Much of my selfcare is habitual because otherwise I'll find some excuse to forgo it. Come to think of it, most of my current identity is based on the practice of behaviors I'd like to be associated with. 

I had entered this space when I was wracked with symptoms, mental, emotional and physical. There had never been a doubt about my diagnosis of CPTSD and I had acheived through much effort at least some level of comfort. That was before the "crash". Of course, the powers that be still say there is only PTSD, everything else is trigger. Yeah, Right. Anyway, I was doing everything asked of me to find relief, to regain that comfort and then it happened. It being that I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and secondary adrenal insufficiency and treatment of those began. Suddenly, the jagged edge of my CPTSD symptoms was softened, I was still having some panic attacks and some dissociation but not nearly as often or as severely as that period between crash and treatment for the physical disorders. So now...I feel like I'm in limbo. While the previous comfort has still not returned, I don't want to appear ungrateful for the abatement of my worst symptoms. If only I could stop questioning where I'm at. Thats why I'm back, seeking reassurance, support, and perhap a return of acceptance. Thats it. Thanks for being here.

   I don't know, I think finding some way to see even a small part of the natural world, especially alone, even for a few days, can help a lot.  I didn't notice the changes myself until doing it for a few years, but even after the first time, friends all said I was a different person.

Meursault

I have also found this very "theraputic". After trying EVERYTHING, my therapist suggested that I choose 2 or 3 helpful things and making a commitment to do them. Finding a balance is key for me. Today its one-on-one 2xmonthly and weekly group with yoga at home. My journaling is sporadic but I do it when I feel like it. Once I stopped beating myself up for not doing it, I've come to enjoy looking at the previous post and seeing some progress. Peace.

Thanks so very much for your kind replies! I truly believe in the theraputic value of being understood on a personal level. I'd like to promise to keep up on posting but I tend more toward the isolationist position. Perhaps as I venture out more in this environment, I'll be less likely to retreat. Thanks again! <3 

This topic caught my eye because I had a similar experience. I'd been "self-healing" for quite some time. Symtoms of psoriasis, arthritis, depression, anxiety, CPTSD, addiction and vertigo. I joined a twelve step program in 1998 and did some alternative therapies for pain.  My symptoms (widespread joint pain, weepiness, nausea, headaches, sleep disturbance) would always flair when I was experiencing fight/flight urges and I finally sought treatment for the arthritis in 2011 after a panic attack I was sure was a heart attack. Only four years later I suffered a sudden rash of "mystery symptoms" (severe fatigue, chronic diarrhea, headaches, dizziness, tinnitus, hearing loss and cognitive issues) and ran through several doctors and numerous tests and ended up back in the hospital in late 2016 with sinus bradycardia. FINALLY the right test was done and I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Throughout all of this what I found out was that I'm a lousy doctor and that I have a tendency to only mask my symptoms which allows their root cause to run rampant. For me fear is the enemy and hope is the solution. I'm glad I didn't settle for the tired old "somatic symptoms" cop-out. I'm treating ALL of my conditions now with competent professionals and if I find one I cannot trust, I find a replacement. I'm even beginning to believe I'm worth it. I hope this helps. 

Good morning from the Valley of the Sun. This may only be a rant but its been sitting in my gut so here goes. I saw a therapist for about a year that says CPTSD is only PTSD followed by various triggering events. We did one session of EMDR on a rather mild "triggering event" but most of our sessions were spent by her telling me all about how her life was going. I finally jumped ship and after a short pause restarted therapy with a nice gentleman who disappeared after two visits. Likely a good thing since he said, "WOW" a lot while I told him my story. For some reason, I was literally devastated by his sudden departure! My first visit with my new therapist was spent crying over my "abandonment". So I don't even know whether or not this therapist is a believer in CPTSD. The good (?) news is that my SSDI hearing is certain to happen soon and may be unnecessary due to the plethora of medical and Psych notes to be added from the last 18 months. Suffice it to say I'm grateful that I have an awesome support network and I'm currently in a safe environment. Thanks so much for allowing me to vent and please feel free to relate your own therapy frustrations.

Auto and Neuro immune for me. I have had Psoriasis since infancy but it took quite some time to get that diagnosis. I have to say that I knew I had significant trauma and possible PTSD symptoms throught my life but I always discounted it and self-medicated until 17+ years ago. then I used a 12 step program to manage symptoms. Then, Psoriatic Arthritis 5 years ago and just this year got diagnoses of CPTSD/GAD w/depression and Fibromyalgia. Ignoring my MI's has only made more somatic symptoms surface. I hope you find some relief, Kizzie. I use water therapy, aromatherapy, massage and meditation along with talk therapy. Peace.

Just wanted to let Jdog know that you are not alone. I have psoriasis and know that taunting in school and rejection by peers was a huge contributing factor to my CPTSD. I went on a drug study 5 years ago for the associated arthritis and my skin has been significantly clear since 3 months into the study. Hold on to the hope because there are certainly new options on the horizon. Peace.

Definitely, somatic symptoms. If not for the severe chronic diarrhea, migraines, widespread pain, sleep disturbance and overwhelming fatigue, I would never have gotten to the proper diagnoses of prolonged PTSD/GAD w/depression. November 2014 to March 2015 I saw 7+ doctors and finally took FMLA leave from work. My employer required me to apply for disability and it was in a psych evaluation for SSDI that I received my initial introduction to my MI. I had been running on self-will and full blast push-through-it mode that I had burned out my coping skills. So all of my anxiety began shutting down my system. I even had slightly elevated liver enzymes and the mystery weight gain. I'm doing much better now that I have begun absolute self-care and therapy. EMDR to begin after developing a trauma history. Thanks for allowing me a place to discuss these things without dealing with the fear of the deer-in-the-headlights look I get from friends. Peace

So glad you have found this place of hope, Multicolour. While my path was less direct, I did find various safe places but they were sadly never meant to be permanent. My grandparents, both gone now, were my safe harbor as long as my presence was not known. Running away was my first method of escape and I spent nearly two years in a state-run facility that was safe EXCEPT that their purpose was to return me home. Suffice to say that after many more years of harm at the hands of myself and others, I finally stopped participating in the wholesale abuse and found some apparent refuge in a twelve step program. The problem is I have no point of reference to recognise abuse prior to its affects. I have recently been diagnosed with C-PTSD and GAD at the ripe age of 55.  Please continue to tell your truth as it helps many to find there own. Peace.

First, let me say amen, thanks for sharing, and welcome. While my story may be different, the view from where I sit certainly looks the same. I have "functioned" for so long (17 years) with what is now hesitantly referred to as C-PTSD, that my functioner broke and now everyone is shocked I'm ill. No, really ill. And diagnosis/treatment is proving far from helpful when I don't know who is really looking out for my interests in the fact that I have my substance abuse in long-term remission and I'd love to keep it that way. Grateful you found us and hope you find the peace I do in having a safe haven in which to express my cares and relate to those of others. Peace. 

Thanks for opening up, woodsgnome. I still have trouble saying some of the truths out loud even in writing. When I chose this thread, it was because I was literally a runner. All of my repeated reports of physical/emotional/sexual abuse were dismissed by all I confided them to. So I did the only thing I could of think of to do. I ran. Often. Lived under bridges or in abandoned buildings until caught and hauled back to the abuse. I was always looking for a safe place. I was deemed incorrigible and placed in a group home for girls. I was the first in this new facility and the house parents were fresh out of college. And I was home! Literally. All the rules were spelled out and I knew what was expected of me. Eventually, I was able to make eye contact and speak in complete sentences. But all progress was used to "qualify" to return to the "family" so I would act out to lose privileges so I could stay. I never got brave enough to explain what drove me to run and when I was returned to my parents after two years, I just became more adept at running. Thanks again for helping me to open up, too. Keep sharing for yourself and for those like me, looking for examples of such bravery. Peace.

I not only have missing chunks but the memories I do have are not connected in a linear way. I have thought of writing a book but I cannot seem to place things chronologically. I remember the color of the other car in an accident from age three and the next memory is being physically ill for a long time at age 5. Its likely a good thing that some of my memories are slow in coming or missing since I hear that true denial is the body's mechanism to protect the mind from things it cannot process yet. In my experience, time takes time. Good luck and good vibes to you all.