good morning.
sort of.
nice to read a name or have terminology for what I have been living with for more than half a decade now. And "Out of the Storm" implies there is another side for me to reach ... I know that ... it's just that THAT side of "out of the storm" is a decade away. And that is a long time to keep having to work and deal and have repeated upon me CPTSD from a sick sick individual (I need no degree to know this individual is sick).
i am going to try and use the forums to avoid some self destructive behavior on my part - usually drinking when i feel i just can't deal with the games and onslaught that is relentless from the NPD (narcissitic personality disordered) ex.
i know i drink to feel number and to punish myself (why myself? i dunno. seems to be what happens when hopelessness over takes the mind.)
for those that are suffering at the hands of a personality disordered and thats why CPTSD exists - I recommend reading Dr Simon's book In Sheep's Clothing. It explained in such easy detail all the games my ex was playing and how those games affected me.
Sadly the books offer some methods for dealing with a NPD but the best advice is no contact and when divorce and children and courts are involved the no contact is impossible.
So here I am. I have stress disorder. I have been suicidal. I have been hopeless.
And I am also still here. Hoping to read and find some tools to deal with the CPTSD better. Decade is a long time and in a decade I get no contact with my abuser. And that is my hope I hold onto.
sort of.
nice to read a name or have terminology for what I have been living with for more than half a decade now. And "Out of the Storm" implies there is another side for me to reach ... I know that ... it's just that THAT side of "out of the storm" is a decade away. And that is a long time to keep having to work and deal and have repeated upon me CPTSD from a sick sick individual (I need no degree to know this individual is sick).
i am going to try and use the forums to avoid some self destructive behavior on my part - usually drinking when i feel i just can't deal with the games and onslaught that is relentless from the NPD (narcissitic personality disordered) ex.
i know i drink to feel number and to punish myself (why myself? i dunno. seems to be what happens when hopelessness over takes the mind.)
for those that are suffering at the hands of a personality disordered and thats why CPTSD exists - I recommend reading Dr Simon's book In Sheep's Clothing. It explained in such easy detail all the games my ex was playing and how those games affected me.
Sadly the books offer some methods for dealing with a NPD but the best advice is no contact and when divorce and children and courts are involved the no contact is impossible.
So here I am. I have stress disorder. I have been suicidal. I have been hopeless.
And I am also still here. Hoping to read and find some tools to deal with the CPTSD better. Decade is a long time and in a decade I get no contact with my abuser. And that is my hope I hold onto.