Hiya - I'm new here, so hopefully it's OK for me to begin by posting in this forum.
Basically I've known for sometime that I probably have CPTSD, but it wasn't until I read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel vd Kolk that I truly realised how it affects every single aspect of my life and being, and that all the stuff I've been blaming myself for is actually symptoms of CPTSD. It was a relief to discover that everything makes sense and comes from a single cause.
Before I knew all of that, I had figured out that my mother must have narcissistic personality disorder, and she's done that typical thing of crow-barring me out of the family. As a result, my younger sister has keys to my parents house, gets literally thousands and thousands of pounds per year spent sending her kids to private school, had a business bought for her and on and on and on. I guess you might call this financial abuse as I get literally nothing, except a small amount for Christmas. I'm "allowed" to come to my parents house for lunch, and nothing more.
I haven't seen my parents for 3 years as I moved away. I've invited them down here on numerous occasions and I don't understand why they don't come as B (where I live) is one of Dad's favourite places. (Mother controlling again perhaps?) About a year ago my Dad sent me a text casually saying "we must arrange for you to come to lunch". I went f'g ballistic at the cheek of it, when my sister gets to swan in and out as she pleases, but they won't even put me up for the night when I'm coming from 2.5 hours away. I sent a load of angry texts over a period of about 2 months.
I now need to explain to my Dad why I was so angry and that it's part of the CPTSD. He was part of the childhood abuse as well (obviously), but I think with him it was totally unconscious as he was abused himself and I suspect that he has CPTSD or a personality disorder. I'm also in an unsustainable financial situation and I need financial help. My parent are pretty well off and could reasonably easily afford to divert some money my way, although they might have to miss a cruise in order to do so!!
I'm trying to set up a business, but have lost my way through procrastination, confusion, lack of self belief and feeling unsupported. I had some money to live on for a while, but it's running out. Even if I sign on for benefits (think you call it welfare in the US), what I would get would be a drop in the ocean compared to my expenses. I'm not sure that I'm employable because I not only have CPTSD, but also misophonia, plus I'm worried about being in an environment where there is a lot of junk food on tap (people tend to have biscuits/cookies in offices these days). I gave all that stuff up and got back to the weight I should be, having been almost obese at one point. I AM NOT GOING BACK TO BEING OVERWEIGHT - as that was a cause of much distress for me as well.
Anyway, having read Bessel's book, I am kind of creating my own therapy plan. This will include classes in stuff like Qi Gong, Kick boxing, going thru a free MBSR course and I want to work with a traumatologist and/or Internal Family Systems therapist. My diet is expensive as I try to eat organic, and I eat expensive fermented foods etc. Anyway, the point is, I seem to have found myself in a very expensive lifestyle (I have addictions as well) and I'm kinda thinking my family should help me out.
So, to get to the point. I would like to tell my Dad that I have CPTSD caused by his and my mother's bad parenting, and their own CPTSD/personality disorder issues. I would like him to understand that he's been set against me and I've been set against him by a clever, controlling narcissist. Ditto my sister - she was recruited to bully me after I left home and I don't have any contact with her at all. For me it's a case of "Game's up guys - I see what you did there! The worm has turned!!".
I would also like to have some kind of relationship with him before it's too late. He's elderly and not at all well. Has anyone had any success telling their parents the truth without it just becoming yet another stick for them to beat you with?
Basically I've known for sometime that I probably have CPTSD, but it wasn't until I read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel vd Kolk that I truly realised how it affects every single aspect of my life and being, and that all the stuff I've been blaming myself for is actually symptoms of CPTSD. It was a relief to discover that everything makes sense and comes from a single cause.
Before I knew all of that, I had figured out that my mother must have narcissistic personality disorder, and she's done that typical thing of crow-barring me out of the family. As a result, my younger sister has keys to my parents house, gets literally thousands and thousands of pounds per year spent sending her kids to private school, had a business bought for her and on and on and on. I guess you might call this financial abuse as I get literally nothing, except a small amount for Christmas. I'm "allowed" to come to my parents house for lunch, and nothing more.
I haven't seen my parents for 3 years as I moved away. I've invited them down here on numerous occasions and I don't understand why they don't come as B (where I live) is one of Dad's favourite places. (Mother controlling again perhaps?) About a year ago my Dad sent me a text casually saying "we must arrange for you to come to lunch". I went f'g ballistic at the cheek of it, when my sister gets to swan in and out as she pleases, but they won't even put me up for the night when I'm coming from 2.5 hours away. I sent a load of angry texts over a period of about 2 months.
I now need to explain to my Dad why I was so angry and that it's part of the CPTSD. He was part of the childhood abuse as well (obviously), but I think with him it was totally unconscious as he was abused himself and I suspect that he has CPTSD or a personality disorder. I'm also in an unsustainable financial situation and I need financial help. My parent are pretty well off and could reasonably easily afford to divert some money my way, although they might have to miss a cruise in order to do so!!
I'm trying to set up a business, but have lost my way through procrastination, confusion, lack of self belief and feeling unsupported. I had some money to live on for a while, but it's running out. Even if I sign on for benefits (think you call it welfare in the US), what I would get would be a drop in the ocean compared to my expenses. I'm not sure that I'm employable because I not only have CPTSD, but also misophonia, plus I'm worried about being in an environment where there is a lot of junk food on tap (people tend to have biscuits/cookies in offices these days). I gave all that stuff up and got back to the weight I should be, having been almost obese at one point. I AM NOT GOING BACK TO BEING OVERWEIGHT - as that was a cause of much distress for me as well.
Anyway, having read Bessel's book, I am kind of creating my own therapy plan. This will include classes in stuff like Qi Gong, Kick boxing, going thru a free MBSR course and I want to work with a traumatologist and/or Internal Family Systems therapist. My diet is expensive as I try to eat organic, and I eat expensive fermented foods etc. Anyway, the point is, I seem to have found myself in a very expensive lifestyle (I have addictions as well) and I'm kinda thinking my family should help me out.
So, to get to the point. I would like to tell my Dad that I have CPTSD caused by his and my mother's bad parenting, and their own CPTSD/personality disorder issues. I would like him to understand that he's been set against me and I've been set against him by a clever, controlling narcissist. Ditto my sister - she was recruited to bully me after I left home and I don't have any contact with her at all. For me it's a case of "Game's up guys - I see what you did there! The worm has turned!!".
I would also like to have some kind of relationship with him before it's too late. He's elderly and not at all well. Has anyone had any success telling their parents the truth without it just becoming yet another stick for them to beat you with?