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Took me a couple days to tiptoe my way back.

A sincere and heartfelt thank you to all of you.

I've written this post three times now. Each time that I've gone to hit "post", I've faltered and closed out of the browser.

It's funny, actually, because internet forums like this used to be what I defaulted to when I found myself alone and scared and lacking in connection...but now, after a lifetime of quiet but insidious emotional abuse and neglect that is slowly coming to light, I am hesitating, even though I'm supposed to be surrounded by people here who are walking roads that are parallel to the one I'm currently walking.

I want connection. I want to feel it for myself and foster it with others. I want to share kindness and laughter and whatever insights I might be carrying. I want to hear others when they're hurting and try and find a way to build bridges between the isolated islands we seem to find ourselves on so very, very often.

But I am terrified, and feel entirely undeserving of any of those things.

So, in a radical attempt at bravery that I'm not particularly known for...I'll hit post, and come back to my roots (so to speak).

Hi. I'm Amanda. What else do I have to lose?