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Messages - aaltimeter

#1
I've experienced the same thing with meditation, yoga and related practices: shaking, emotional release, sometimes feeling like crying or yelling out in rage.  That happened for years and continued escalating before I ever found out about CPTSD and the concept of emotional flashbacks. 

Now that I have, there seems to be lots of work to do to uncover how often I'm dissociated... like I too can get into jhanas and, if I stick with it long enough, come away from them with a feeling of bodily and emotional wholeness that can last at least for a bit into my day... yet it's always been a mystery to me why I have such a hard time staying anything like as present in my social interactions as I can when I'm by myself and putting just a modicum of effort into it.  Seems I'm often back in some charged memory. 

I keep being reminded of the scene at the end of Twin Peaks season 3.  Without spoiling it for anybody: there always seems to be more work to do.