Messages

Having a safe place to live where I can sleep all day
My cat being here for me, cuddles
Yale online free courses, being able to access learning

NV im having one of those days today. Stayed in bed or went back to bed. Im not the only one???

Hi NV,
Im glad it helped you I smiled at what you wrote about trying to leave the house and going back three times for forgotten stuff. Me too! It amazes me that we probably live on opposite sides of the world but are having the same behaviours that frustrate us. Makes me feel less alone.

Hi Kizzie,
Thanks for that link, I appreciate it. I don't think you'd mentioned it before. I'll have a look. At the moment, I am not ready to do that, I need more support and stability within myself first before I face what would be a very painful and distressing process.
Deb

Three things I'm grateful for or that are good today:
Treating myself to a couple of glasses of wine, steak dinner and dessert
Got to Sydney for an MRI
Having enough money to be able to go interstate

Hi,

I came across this poem today and it spoke closely to me. It's what I experience, so I wanted to share it here:

Let us pray for wisdom. Let us pause from thinking and empty our mind. Let us stop
the noise. In the silence let us listen to out heart. The heart which is buried alive. Let
us be still and wait and listen carefully. A sound from the deep, from below a faint cry,
A weak tapping. Distant muffled feelings from within. The cry for help.

We shall rescue the entombed heart. We shall bring it to the surface, to the light and
the air. We shall nurse it and listen respectfully to its story. The heart's story of pain
and suffocation, of darkness and yearning. We shall help our feelings to live in the
sun. Together again we shall find relief and joy.


ah, this describes my heart so well. So much pain locked away because its terrifying to feel that much pain, grief and fear on my own. I don't yet have the skills to hold myself and be a safe person for me.
Does anyone relate to this?

The three things I'm grateful for today:

Owning a car
Sam cuddles xxx
Friends who help out - a friend is going to feed Sam while I'm away overnight

I'm really glad this thread is here. Thankyou to the person who started it. I started a MBSR course here and it also gets us to do 3 Good things at the end of the day. The course says we can rewire our brains by practicing noticing good things. I am hoping to do this.

My 3G's for today are:

Sam sitting on my lap/next to me
Getting a check in email from Mindfulness teacher
Lawyer saying 'well done' on the phone this morning

Hi Candid, I hadnt had anything to drink till about 4pmish when I got up and had a hot drink.  Yes, staying in bed all day doesnt happen very often. On a better day 'on days like this' (not every day) id get myself to the couch. Hope thats clears it up. Everyone is feed twice over and cuddled now.

Thanks Hope

Dear Dee, I totally empathise with these spirals you talked about. I have them too. They are really awful. Bug hugs on surviving it. Xx

Candid, yes, on alot of days feeding sam  has been the reason for getting up. Occasionally i'll have a day like today where not even his trying to get me up will work. It is only occasionally, he's usually well fed and looked after. Days lile these come and go. Since the psychologist hurt me there have been a lot of 'just get to the couch' days. Do I sense judgement there?

Hi, does anyone know if theres a way to search for ally previous posts and the replies to them? Id like to reread them and the replies from people. I forget where ive posted some of them and they get lost.

Deb

I also really struggle every morning. Especially living alone. Im keen to read other peoples posts. Today i stayed in bed. Its past 3pm now and i havent got up. My cat hasnt been fed. Poor thing. Its just there is no point in getting up. Has anyone else felt like this and stayed in bed? I try to make little goals on better days like, if i can just make it to the couch in the loungeroom or make a hot drink and then I can come back to bed and read. Or turning the radio on can help.

Hi Kat, thanks for your post. I dreamt about her last night. It hurts more than I can feel on my own. Its like my heart is being crushed and I can't breathe. Its too painful. I honestly don't know what to do. I've tried so many other psychologists here and either they reject me or theres something really off about them and they are not safe. I need my psychologist back but she's behaving so badly. I can't force her to talk to me. We became really close, under her guidance and then when I started to disagree with her about things and assert my own ideas she didn't like that at all. She gave me the love I never had from my mum but have desperately craved my whole life. I need HER. It was an unsafe termination of therapy and I am absolutely devastated and I need help! I am alone and I don't know what to do!!!