Messages

Welcome to you, Bohemian, I'm new here, too.  There are some very supportive people here, and so many of us have been through probably some similar things.  Look forward to getting to know you, and others here, better.  Your relationship with music sounds like a really positive thing.

All best!

I've had times of 'did I make the wrong decision , a miss him, it was better then'
However, this type of thinking is always when I'm having a tougher time and I look back with rose tinted spectacles...
I found an old journal the other wk and read through it and by the end was fully aware of why I left !
It's a good suggestion to write down situations that happened over the relationship and feelings , to then re read at times of doubt
Growing is so much better than withering so onwards and with all the care we have for ourselves,our inner child and the empowered women

Excellent thoughts, Boatsetsailrose.  I think writing is a great idea, and reflecting, as you said, in times of doubt.  For me, I know it has always helped sort out needs and whether they are being met, or not.  Easier to do in writing, sometimes.  Emotions can be so strong they can overwhelm rationality now and then, I think writing does help to keep a handle on that.  All best to ya

Hi Sanmagic, thanks so much for the support, and the welcome too.  Thanks also for sharing what you're going through in this space of time after having left in your relationship.

I can very much relate to wondering what it would be like to go back.  I support your decision that you made, especially understanding how hard it must have been to make that choice in your own situation. 

I've been crying a lot the last few days (something I have a really hard time doing, don't know about you guys, but takes a lot for me).  I miss him, there were things that were good, and the situation I'm in right now after leaving is not ideal either, but it definitely allows more freedom of movement and ability to work on doing what I started to do; which is becoming an RN.  We talked a bit the last few days, he knows it was not an easy choice for me at all.  We're both pretty broken up emotionally over it, but I know I have much more work to do on myself.  I know he does, too.  He is in recovery for addictions, but there is still a lot to work on.  It was hard for me to be a realist.  So many parts of myself wanted to stay. 

Love and peace

Thank you so much, Boatsetsailrose.    I am glad I found the forum, too.  Thank you for the reminders to look after myself and life ahead.  I agree with what you said about having complex trauma, the care taking, and that it can be difficult to put our own needs first.  Thank you for helping me realize it's a part I need to work on.  I just returned to therapy today (found an old therapist I was working with who relocated, which was awesome). 

Thank you for sharing your story of leaving a relationship, too.  I can relate to the emotional unavailability, having been in that situation before too, and am glad you did what was good for you.

Thanks for the affirmation, I'll keep it in mind!  And the reminder that 7 months isn't that long, as well.  It's true that sometimes I guess being with someone all the time, and in a situation, can make things seem longer than they are, in actuality.

Yep, I think I had a lucky escape, too.

Thanks bunches, and all best to ya.

Hi everyone.  New here, in my 40s and got diagnosed with CPTSD a few years back (stemming from childhood). 

Was doing well for a while, pursuing furthering my education.  Got sidetracked and somehow wound up in a relationship (still not sure how it happened).  Partner wanted me to quit my degree and marry him.  After a lot of agonizing about the decision, left today.  Seven months, and everything was way too rushed.  A lot of warning signs, found myself taking care of three kids (not mine, mine is grown).  Constant chaos from two ex wives of my now ex.  Just couldn't deal anymore. 

I feel bad for taking care of myself and making a choice to separate, to leave.  I know things would have been bad for me down the road, but I still can't help but feel I let him down, and his kids.  I am in a lot of pain thinking of how this will affect the two youngest ones, eight and six years old. 

Has anyone else left a relationship that they knew was probably going to end up badly, because they knew they had to for their health and sanity, but feel awful guilt after? 

Thanks and peace