Messages

Thank you 

I just had a look at Pete's website and yes, a lot a very helpful information there... I've been working with my psychologist for about 3 or 4 years now, and I can see how she has guided me to unpack the terror of identifying with the flashback... I now have the skills to just acknowledge that an episode is just an amygdala hijacking (LOVE THAT!!!) and with awareness the experience tends to be briefer...

And nature is a solace, for sure... When I walked out of that job 8 years ago, I just packed the car and drove into the solitude of bush, mountains, rivers... I am now a gypsy and my life is mostly spent in lovely natural locations...

Hi, am kinda in the thick of an unexpected episode and it will take a bit of time before I can get psych support so I decided to hop online to see what support is available, et voila... I won't go into detail yet, but the trauma I experienced was sustained in a work situation for about 14 years (teaching children with severe emotional & behavioural disorders - power abuse from the school's principals)... It has been 8 years since leaving the school, utterly burnt out and over this time I have tried and tried to heal and be "normal", but the journey has been like a slowly unravelling snake involving episodes of varying intensity but with growing awareness each time... The awareness helps with just standing back and observing this pain, watching it as sensations and thus less fear, escapism & delusion than in earlier experiences...

This episode was creeping up for about a week then last night just completely tipped me over the edge... I was having a marathon of watching Orange is the New Black season 4 and it explored how living day in, day out in a dysfunctional environment changes the lives of everyone forever... There were many scenes that were just so similar to what I experienced...

The feeling in me now is like electricity surging through my body, I can even hear electricity in my head - it won't stop... It is the same as the fear that was regularly experienced but I was told to repress... I was expected to "soldier on" and given no therapeutic support, in fact, I was often subjected to mind games and manipulations by the principals... I don't really want to talk about it all just now though...

This will pass eventually

Thanks, Neptune