I feel like I am floating. Nothing makes much sense anymore. I started a new job about a year ago and thought I was doing really well. My review was today and it triggered so many things, I walked out of it. My boss doesn't know about the C-PTSD diagnosis that has a nice backbone of anxiety disorder with it. I am feeling like a failure. I quietly cried my way through work today. I don't want to go on FMLA. I want the C-PTSD to just be a part of me and not control me. Everything I am trying doesn't work. I feel broken and pretty helpless. I was told to not focus on the "needs improvement" items and look at the overall score. Having a needs improvement in being trustworthy was painful. Genuinely painful. I am brutally honest and readily admit when I don't know something. No one was available to actively train me and I had to spend months trying to figure out a job that didn't have any documentation on processes, who to ask, when to ask, any of it. Then, today, I got told I have spent the last year doing it wrong. I walked out because I was frustrated. I am now at not wanting to even go back. I feel like I should quit and just give up. My anxiety episodes have stripped me of my friends. There is the insurmountable feeling of sadness that it just isn't going to get better. I no longer know what to do.