This may come off as a rant of sorts and for that I apologize, but I am just trying to make sense of my patterns/symptoms, etc. I have not officially been diagnosed with C PTSD but it has come up in discussions with my psychologist as I show many of the signs. One big thing I do is disassociate and shut down in relationships (romantic, family, friends)...sometimes it could be because of an event or argument but sometimes I just shut down and shy away from people close to me for no reason (that I can identify anyways). This makes it very difficult to hold any sort of stable romantic relationship as people have a hard time understanding how I can be loving one day and totally blank, emotionless and un reachable the next. My family recognizes and tries to understand my behaviors and has been trying to help me on the road to recovery (which I have a feeling will be a long one) but a lot of my romantic relationships fail after I push away or retreat in my shell one too many times....I have two children that are my world but I am not with either father and currently I have been starting to rekindle a past relationship but always have that fear that a day or week or month from now I will do what I do and this will be over too.....
Can anyone relate to this or have any advice on this? I would appreciate any feedback at all.
Can anyone relate to this or have any advice on this? I would appreciate any feedback at all.