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Messages - lostinspace66

#1
Thanks for the words of encouragement,

My abuse as a child was physical from mother and a long term sexual abuse from a "friend of the family" who baby sat me.  like many abused children I went on to join the military at age 18, I also discovered alcohol.  I took the trade of bomb disposal operator and through various operational stress injuries, the memories of my childhood abuse came swarming back, like an endless tape mixed in with some new trauma.  In 2000, I left the military, was basically kicked out of my house and a new man moved in and I ran away as a contractor to various war zones to perform humanitarian defining all the time adding to my trauma in some of the most horrific ways possible.  I crashed in 2014 and ended up in hospital for a month and then went to rehab, I am proud to say, that I have more than 3 years sobriety
#2
thank you Candid,

are there any support groups for CPTSD in (edited) Canada?  I have been to some military ones, but they just seem to complaint about vet affairs

I have re-connected with a hobby I had as a teen, restoring a car and that is where I hide.  I opened up to a long term friend about some "incidents" in Iraq and I could see the horror in her eyes, like I was a monster.  She left and never heard from her again other than to say sorry
#3
so, I suppose one of my questions......  How do you get yourself back out of house and around people again.  I have a deep distrust of people in general.  Acceptance that being alone is settling in, but sometimes the loneness is super hard
#4
Hi

Thanks, I really don't know where to start, I have been working with the vet affairs therapist and we make great bounds, but he is the only one I can talk to, either I scare people away or something I don't know, I have a service dog that allows me to go outside the prison of my house
#5
Hello out there, new to forums.  I tried out of the fog and was directed over here.  Do not even know where to begin: a little about me
50 year old male
survivor of childhood abuse
veteran
multiple tours in combat locations
alcoholic until 2014
all my friends and most of my family I seem to have pushed away
I live in complete solitude, confident that this is it, self imposed exile...   The trust in just typing this out there to the world has me on edge