Messages

Hi Marie,
I understand completely as my so called Mother was also a narcissist. I am in my 50s and only now that she is dead have I started to deal with the fallout of her neglect and abuse as she had too strong a hold on me. I believe that if I had my diagnosis earlier in my life it would have given me strength to resist her invasive tentacles and stay away from her. So I am sending you strength to achieve what is right for you.

Does anyone else have similar experiences to me. .?
From the first time I drank alcohol at a party at 16 yrs old I have gone way over board and have not been able to stop drinking. Its like some kind of irrational thinking says to me 'if this feeling is pleasurable then the more I drink the better I will get'. I am beginning to realise that the whole party /drinking thing is some kind of flashback situation. Can anyone understand this?

I am sitting reading this and I feel like my head and chest is going to explode. I suddenly remembered the little girl who who lived almost completely in an imaginary world and I realised that when the adults in my family joked about my behaviour in front of me like Ai was defective I felt even more isolated. I ran headlong into tree and cut my face up as a four year old because I was playing hide and seek with myself. They took photos and I felt soooo inadequate.
Now as an adult when I do small silly things they feel huge.

Well all I can say is ditto,
I was diagnosed recently and can't believe I have reached my 50s before finding this out.
My main perpetrator was my mother who died last year and what I thought was the end actually became the beginning.