Hi I'm Beckett and I finally know what to call what I have.
I've been suffering from emotional flashbacks and disassociation for about two years now. The flashbacks are always related to the bullying that happened to me all through out middle school. I always blamed the flashes on my photographic memory just messing with me but I've started to notice that these flashbacks occur when I see or speak to individuals from that time period or when the type of bullying that happened to me is mentioned. Suddenly, I find myself trapped inside my own mind, blinded by the bottled up emotions from the past that I suppressed in a failed attempt to protect myself. It doesn't help that I see these individuals on a regular basis. While the abuse has ended, the memories haven't and they haunt me every day.
I am ready to get better and move on from what happened to me. I think this is the first step in many future steps for closure and healing. It's going to be a long, difficult road, but I know I need to do this. I can't let this define me anymore and control my life.
Sincerely,
Beckett
I've been suffering from emotional flashbacks and disassociation for about two years now. The flashbacks are always related to the bullying that happened to me all through out middle school. I always blamed the flashes on my photographic memory just messing with me but I've started to notice that these flashbacks occur when I see or speak to individuals from that time period or when the type of bullying that happened to me is mentioned. Suddenly, I find myself trapped inside my own mind, blinded by the bottled up emotions from the past that I suppressed in a failed attempt to protect myself. It doesn't help that I see these individuals on a regular basis. While the abuse has ended, the memories haven't and they haunt me every day.
I am ready to get better and move on from what happened to me. I think this is the first step in many future steps for closure and healing. It's going to be a long, difficult road, but I know I need to do this. I can't let this define me anymore and control my life.
Sincerely,
Beckett