Hi there,
I don't know if I have PTSD, CPTSD, something in between, or something unrelated that just looks like these things.
When I was 15-16 (I'm 19 now) I was in a year-and-a-bit long relationship with a partner that was 18-19 who was extremely abusive to me emotionally/mentally/psychologically, and less extremely (but still) abusive to me sexually.
(As a sidenote: I had already had severe problems with depression, anxiety, spacial/pattern based OCD, and depersonalization-derealization disorder before I met them, not from any trauma, just because I hit the genetic lotto)
They spent the entire relationship gaslighting me, lying to me, manipulating me, tearing me down, raping me, blaming their every fault on me, humiliating me, making sure that I knew that if I left no one else would love me, making me dependent on them, cheating on me and blaming me for it, and viciously tearing down any self-esteem I had.
Because of this, all of my previous mental health problems have worsened, plus I now exhibit symptoms that I feel match with PTSD/CPTSD. However, because this relationship was never physically violent, I did not live with this person/have legal ties with them, and because she was a woman (and same-sex abuse isn't always accepted as "real") I don't know that I actually qualify, so to speak. I'm afraid to bring it up to a doctor in case they call me a hypochondriac, but also because I don't know if I will sound completely stupid for thinking I have these disorders if I actually don't.
Also, because it was what I consider to be an adult relationship, I think I belong in the adult category, but I was a minor at the time so I don't know where to put myself on that front
I've been looking for support groups/community advice online for a while, and I've never felt comfortable enough to participate. But obviously, I am now trying. So let me know your thoughts on this, I guess?
I don't know if I have PTSD, CPTSD, something in between, or something unrelated that just looks like these things.
When I was 15-16 (I'm 19 now) I was in a year-and-a-bit long relationship with a partner that was 18-19 who was extremely abusive to me emotionally/mentally/psychologically, and less extremely (but still) abusive to me sexually.
(As a sidenote: I had already had severe problems with depression, anxiety, spacial/pattern based OCD, and depersonalization-derealization disorder before I met them, not from any trauma, just because I hit the genetic lotto)
They spent the entire relationship gaslighting me, lying to me, manipulating me, tearing me down, raping me, blaming their every fault on me, humiliating me, making sure that I knew that if I left no one else would love me, making me dependent on them, cheating on me and blaming me for it, and viciously tearing down any self-esteem I had.
Because of this, all of my previous mental health problems have worsened, plus I now exhibit symptoms that I feel match with PTSD/CPTSD. However, because this relationship was never physically violent, I did not live with this person/have legal ties with them, and because she was a woman (and same-sex abuse isn't always accepted as "real") I don't know that I actually qualify, so to speak. I'm afraid to bring it up to a doctor in case they call me a hypochondriac, but also because I don't know if I will sound completely stupid for thinking I have these disorders if I actually don't.
Also, because it was what I consider to be an adult relationship, I think I belong in the adult category, but I was a minor at the time so I don't know where to put myself on that front
I've been looking for support groups/community advice online for a while, and I've never felt comfortable enough to participate. But obviously, I am now trying. So let me know your thoughts on this, I guess?