Hi guys,
I've been dealing with this junk for awhile but I just realized it started in childhood. I'm going to share some memories so a trigger warning (no violence, just neglect...).
Only twice have I been treated for depression during 12 years. Most of the time no one asked how I was (since I was 12). I was horrendously angry/sad and it was so obvious. My mother simply said 'I stopped asking you about your day because you bite my head off' (blaming me for the disorder). I got PTSD from an alternative violent event outside the home. I did get therapy THEN (6 or 7 years after depression started which was given no treatment) which continued for awhile. I recall asking for support for ptsd which led to traditional, lazy 'I'll see what I can do' and only asking about it once or twice afterward. When it gets hard, the parent gives up, right? I developed chronic illness. I have had 3 doctor visits after 9 months. 'Parents' have suggested some treatments with no follow through. Again, I am chronically ill most of the time and almost 90% of my work getting better has been MY own research, healing and comfort. They seem to offer help to perpetuate the facade they are parents, while I suffer because no real work has been done, and they blame me for the symptoms that perpetuate. They immediately give up soon. Try, and then give up. I live here and have no one else to take care of me. I do not recall anyone ever asking me what my hopes or dreams were or any advice given as a child. I was forced to do chores despite the fact I had hypoglycemia which was NEVER TREATED. I once passed out on the floor and my mom walked around me. I passed out as a kid a lot and no one ever actually took me to a doc because it was a 'family condition, eat more food'. Never treated for migraines either. Never got new clothes or rarely 99% handmidown. We lived in a nice suburban neighborhood with good money. Have had to beg for vet treatments for lizards. Again I am so ill I can sometimes rarely breathe, thry have witnessed this, seemed concerned...and nothing has been done. I have screamed my truth and nothing is done. Everyone is blind to it. Once in awhile asking how I am is not enough! I have spoken a little and have been blamed (oh, WE'RE the bad parents?) I literally only know other relatives I could live with who would have to pay for medical treatment. It might be possible. They will buy me anything I ask for but dont ask how I am feeling, if I am recovering, and blame me (well, you like to keep to yourself/dont want my head bitten off) when I have always been alone to deal with sickness. I have rarely had good teacher mentors either. I will not die in this house from neglect. Do I need to move elsewhere? I am not recieving standard doctor care. They do not offer me unless I come up with the idea (which is too exhausting when I am so ill-I cant take all the responsibility). I am too tired to go seek care most of the time. But if I moved it would feel very stress free. I just need supplements/ a good diet and then possibly therapy or a massage therapist. I do not know of anyone else who can take care of me...they supply everything. My job interests were never asked. I was supposed to do it all on my own. They never asked my interests. I make it by but I realize my health may force things now. I realize how awfully neglectful this is though it never seemed that way. I cannot reason with them. They ignore and give up. They do not have stamina or interest. Help? I hate that I have to come up with all the ideas for my own health. They provide WHATEVER but dont do any work or research or care themselves. Its so cut off. I am too ill to provide research, energy into my healing. Thank you for reading
I've been dealing with this junk for awhile but I just realized it started in childhood. I'm going to share some memories so a trigger warning (no violence, just neglect...).
Only twice have I been treated for depression during 12 years. Most of the time no one asked how I was (since I was 12). I was horrendously angry/sad and it was so obvious. My mother simply said 'I stopped asking you about your day because you bite my head off' (blaming me for the disorder). I got PTSD from an alternative violent event outside the home. I did get therapy THEN (6 or 7 years after depression started which was given no treatment) which continued for awhile. I recall asking for support for ptsd which led to traditional, lazy 'I'll see what I can do' and only asking about it once or twice afterward. When it gets hard, the parent gives up, right? I developed chronic illness. I have had 3 doctor visits after 9 months. 'Parents' have suggested some treatments with no follow through. Again, I am chronically ill most of the time and almost 90% of my work getting better has been MY own research, healing and comfort. They seem to offer help to perpetuate the facade they are parents, while I suffer because no real work has been done, and they blame me for the symptoms that perpetuate. They immediately give up soon. Try, and then give up. I live here and have no one else to take care of me. I do not recall anyone ever asking me what my hopes or dreams were or any advice given as a child. I was forced to do chores despite the fact I had hypoglycemia which was NEVER TREATED. I once passed out on the floor and my mom walked around me. I passed out as a kid a lot and no one ever actually took me to a doc because it was a 'family condition, eat more food'. Never treated for migraines either. Never got new clothes or rarely 99% handmidown. We lived in a nice suburban neighborhood with good money. Have had to beg for vet treatments for lizards. Again I am so ill I can sometimes rarely breathe, thry have witnessed this, seemed concerned...and nothing has been done. I have screamed my truth and nothing is done. Everyone is blind to it. Once in awhile asking how I am is not enough! I have spoken a little and have been blamed (oh, WE'RE the bad parents?) I literally only know other relatives I could live with who would have to pay for medical treatment. It might be possible. They will buy me anything I ask for but dont ask how I am feeling, if I am recovering, and blame me (well, you like to keep to yourself/dont want my head bitten off) when I have always been alone to deal with sickness. I have rarely had good teacher mentors either. I will not die in this house from neglect. Do I need to move elsewhere? I am not recieving standard doctor care. They do not offer me unless I come up with the idea (which is too exhausting when I am so ill-I cant take all the responsibility). I am too tired to go seek care most of the time. But if I moved it would feel very stress free. I just need supplements/ a good diet and then possibly therapy or a massage therapist. I do not know of anyone else who can take care of me...they supply everything. My job interests were never asked. I was supposed to do it all on my own. They never asked my interests. I make it by but I realize my health may force things now. I realize how awfully neglectful this is though it never seemed that way. I cannot reason with them. They ignore and give up. They do not have stamina or interest. Help? I hate that I have to come up with all the ideas for my own health. They provide WHATEVER but dont do any work or research or care themselves. Its so cut off. I am too ill to provide research, energy into my healing. Thank you for reading