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Sending you lots of positive energy!  Stay strong!!!  Like sanmagic said, it'll get sorted out.  Be kind and patient with yourself and keep taking care of yourself.

Hi Samantha,
It can be so difficult to ask for help for this!

My therapist helped me with a letter that went to my HR department.  The letter asked for certain things (restrictions/accommodations) that we both decided on together and that we thought were very reasonable.  She also helped me with FMLA coverage with helped as well - especially when I had a very bad breakdown and had to go completely out of work for 2 months.  I've been at my job for over 8 years and it's a relatively small, family owned company.  Our HR person is great with this stuff and helped me navigate through everything, which was a blessing because I'd never had to do anything like this before so I was clueless.

Anyway, I was terrified to ask for some accommodations but they were really great about it so I'm glad I did.  Having that additional support has been tremendously helpful to me.  I was able to get back to full time duty and still have some of the restrictions in place in case I need them.  Good to have a safety net.

I wish you the best!

Anyway, hubby and I talked about it later and said his initial response was more likely to be, 'What are you doing? Complaining or bragging?' We both burst out laughing - it was SUCH a great response! That seemed like the BEST response to me, whenever you state something you would like to discuss and anyone else answers with THEIR situation or condition. Hubby and I will use this if one wants to talk and the other tries the shut-down with THEIR situation. It works and can still make us laugh about that day.

It's a good response and you are welcome to steal and modify it if you think it would help. Just, if anyone starts in with how THEIR situation is SO MUCH HARDER, WORSE, BIGGER, MORE IMPORTANT than yours - so, Are you complaining or bragging?

I love this answer!  Totally stealing it 

Hi Nicole,
I'm sorry you're having a rough time after being stable.  I understand your frustration!!!  I have no words of wisdom today, but I hope the rest of your day went better for you.

One thing a therapist taught me I found helpful was focusing on the physical senses.

I had to name three things I could see, three things I could touch (and focus on the tactile experience, like soft, smooth, bumpy, rough whatever), three things I could hear, you could do this with smell and taste as well if your in a place where that works. But those three seem to be enough.

Also, focus on your body, like the feeling of your body against the surface supporting it, or feet on the ground, etc. A lot of times with trauma and dissociation parts of our body are numb so that was weird to figure out but interesting.

I also found yoga really helps me get in my body because they teach you to go inward and experience physical sensations. If a yoga movement class feels like too much there is this super neat thing called Yoga Nidra that is a body sensing practice where you are just focusing on different parts of your body and what they feel like. The "iRest program for PTSD" by Richard Miller really helped/helps me and you can download the practices and all you have to do is sit/lay there while he talks. It was made specifically for PTSD and has tons of research behind it too.

You could also look up meditations on youtube for "progressive muscle relaxation" which is similar and free!

Thanks for reminding me what I need to do myself, I was asking myself the same question earlier! (seriously)

Great response Rosemarie.  Mediation has really helped me too, mindfulness in particular.  Focusing on the physical senses, being aware and paying attention.  The body scan is great when I'm having a hard time falling asleep as well.    I've been having some hard days lately and have been having a hard time focusing on it so you're reminder is good for me too 

I haven't done much yoga but it's something I have been thinking about. 

Contessa - kudos to you for the good attitude about it.  Great to have those victories isn't it?  Gotta celebrate each one, big or small. 

i just want to move forward with healing both mind and body.  but i have a different type of clarity now, almost a different force that's working inside me.   the poison is out, i don't have to carry it around with me anymore.  apparently this change in the forum triggered me to be able to get rid of it, put it someplace where it won't hurt me anymore.  i'm so grateful, kizzie, that you started this.  it was the jumpstart i needed. 

I love the way you put this... getting the poison out.  I feel that's the perfect description!!!  I'm so glad that you're in a better space now!  Keep it up!!!    

thanks, wife2.  it truly is a different dynamic, that feeling of being stuck and powerless as an adult as compared to those feelings as a child.  technically, i could have 'walked' at any point in the process, but i felt beholden to stay in there, fight the good fight, attempt to fix everything that was wrong or i was a quitter, a bad person, bad wife, bad mother, bad you-name-it.  i wasn't going to abandon the ones i loved emotionally the way i was abandoned by my folks - i wanted to do everything possible to be perfect at all that i was involved in, including abusive relationships.  those i would look at rationally, keep analyzing what i might be doing wrong, try something else, re-analyze, etc. ad nauseum.  but above all, i was trapped by the notion that it was my job and my duty to stay and make the best of every situation, no matter how horrible it might be, or die trying. 

in the end, my sense of survival won out.  thank you, god.

Sanmagic - it's like you're in my head lol!  Thank you for sharing that.  I'm sorry you have to go through it. But I'm glad to know I'm not alone.  I've been feeling a little adrift lately after a pretty good spell so it's been nice to hear from others and know that I'm not alone in these feelings.

I've definitely felt that disconnect.  It's something I've been working on.  It's gotten better but it still pops up when I'm having a hard time.  I have not personally found a good way to deal with it.  I recognize that it's a symptom though and when I'm in a good "space" I don't have as hard of a time.

I do sometimes force myself into situations (with people who I know care about me and are supportive) where I have to actively listen and pay attention and try and force myself to do it.  Probably more to just be social and create connections when I'm feeling particularly disconnected to the world around me.  Even if I'm just silent or more quiet than usual, I know it's probably better than me sitting at home alone circling depression.  So I try to give it a try for as long as I can and if/when I feel like I'm done, I leave. No guilt, no judgement, just focusing on that I did my best in that moment and that it's a step in the right direction.

Sometimes I just give myself a day "off".  Just off from friends, from family, from the TV, computer, chores, phone, whatever, I get home from work and give myself permission to just be crazy  for the night and give myself a break. 

A good night sleep is always key for me too.

I'm glad I found this board. It was suggested in one of the "Out of the Fog" forum replies so I thought I'd check it out since I'd had good luck there so far as well.

Interesting (though sad as well) to see others post about their CPTSD that was caused by a narcissist.  Mine was a diagnosed narcissistic sociopath as well. 

I'm also working with a therapist and am hoping this will be another outlet and resource for me.  It's hard to talk about it with friends/family sometimes.  They're sympathetic and supportive but sometimes I feel like they just don't exactly what I'm talking about.  I'm hoping to find some insight into others journeys and their roads to recovery.

Best of luck to each of you & Take care of yourself