Messages

Thanks for the kind words. The information in that link is so true; it's so relieving when someone is able to explain how you feel. I've made so many mistakes in telling people things when I shouldn't have (usually in a desperate attempt to be understood) that I feel like I've more than ruined what should've been a good experience. And I hate feeling like I did it to myself. Now, even in normal conversation, all I ever think about is, did I overshare? Did I say this the wrong way? How do I take it back? I think about this a lot - how people are able to deal with trauma, but not when it's trivialized and questioned and picked at. Sometimes I end up asking myself ridiculous questions, like if everything that I thought happened even did. I just don't know how I'll ever figure this out.

I've experienced the same thing. I think it is something the 'average' person would do, but not to the same extent, because they aren't dealing with the effects of trauma. I heard somewhere that you can find closure yourself without having to get it from the people involved in a situation - I want to learn more about that.

I would say maybe the best option is just to say that you've been going through some things and keep it vague and simple if you know the person won't react well. If you really do trust someone then definitely try but keep in mind, if they don't understand, it doesn't change what happened or what you're going through.

Three Roses, what you said is so true. I think people want to see a happy ending or sometimes just don't know what to say. My friends and family have mostly reacted the same way. Validation is so satisfying when you do get it. I feel like it's the best way to deal with what's happened. 

Thanks for the warm welcome. You haven't used any of the words, and I appreciate you being mindful of that, but please, don't feel like you need to walk on eggshells. I hope so too.

Hi, as you can tell by the title, I'm new here..

I don't think I'm ready to explain exactly what happened yet - I hope that's not problematic. Not only is it still sort of going on, but I've had so many bad experiences trying to talk to someone (including professionals) about what happened that just the thought of it makes me tense and uneasy. I also have trouble with certain "trigger" words, so it's hard for me to properly explain the situation without sounding extremely vague and (I've been told) cryptic. But not talking about things hasn't been working either. All of the symptoms I've been experiencing have been getting worse, and one of them is that I'm unable to bring myself to visit certain areas in my city that are somehow connected to my traumas. I had begun to see a psychiatrist over a year ago, but the place I went to just so happens to be in one of those areas. Of course that would happen to me. I used to be able to suppress my negative emotions and push myself to do things and go places that made me uncomfortable because of the traumas, but I can't do it anymore. I'm running out of options and I really need someone to talk to. So I'm hoping that this is the right place to find some kind of comfort and maybe help in understanding what's going on.