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Messages - JikokuNeko

#1
Emotional Abuse / Is this CPTSD?
December 01, 2016, 07:33:49 AM
I was in a situation where I was exploited for everything I do for this group of people. I was also verbally and emotionally abused the entire year I was there, by people I was forced to share a room with, eat with, and sit in class with. I could talk to my parents on the phone but that was part of the very little positive contact I had during that year and even that became a vicious cycle because I would get depressed and be on the phone with my mom a lot but then I would get ridiculed for it and I would back off until that just made it so bad that I had to start talking to her all the time again. I've never been the most emotionally secure person from other incidents but since then everything has gotten so much worse. I am scared to make friends because I worry that they will just use me like the people who did before did. I don't know. It doesn't help that my only friends all seem to just want to have sex with me. They are good friends but does it say something that the only friend I have that isn't a guy (and wanting have sex with me) is the person I live with? And even then it took 6 months. My symptoms also seem to fit Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression but I am just desperate for something that makes sense. My life is good now, so there is no reason for me to be this messed up and I don't know what to do. I guess I'm just asking for advice because I don't really know where to go from here.