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Messages - Needtorecover

#1
Sexual Abuse / Is this me??!!
November 17, 2016, 11:20:28 AM
I had never heard of CPTSD before and found it on the Internet after looking into the medication I have been prescribed.

I feel like a weight has been lifted after reading some of the threads on here -  this is me so much and I feel confused/relieved/until understood and so much more.

I was abused by my older brother for years,  I have always felt it couldn't be abuse as he is only 2 years older than me.  I know of everything that took place but I can't remember how I felt at the time. I know there was disassociation as I still do that now.  When everything stopped I was diagnosed with depression and have suffered from it ever since (24 years) I feel weak and a failure for not getting over things.  I still think daily about the abuse and it has never left me for a day.  Ever single part of my being has been affected and I don't know who I am.  I am so confused and can't understand why I still feel like this after so much time.  I want help but don't know where to go.  I suppose it doesn't help as my parents found out about the abuse last year and believe it never happened,  my brother has told them and the rest of my family I am a lier.  My parents have never said they love me since they found out and the rest of my family will no longer speak to me.