I wish you the very best in your hope to plan a good retirement and I also hope you will find work that gives you the joy and space you need to heal. I, too, am interested in this topic of coping skills. So often I wish I had someone to advise me what to do in a situation. Or to just explain a situation and check with someone to see if I am thinking about it correctly. I find that my hyper-vigilance is such an embedded personality trait at this point, I notice much more about situations than other people do and at times it seems like I live in a totally different reality than others do.
For example, recently I was volunteering with another person in putting on a fundraising garage sale. This other person happened to be adult child of alcoholic. Well, she began deftly stealing things from the sale and I was aware of it instantly, and continuously as we worked together. Funny, I just had the insight that she probably began this behavior around her mother, who was too inebriated to notice. Yet I have almost a psychic ability when it comes to picking up on intentions and furtive actions. I was really upset that she was sabotaging the fundraiser in this way but I didn't really know what to do about it in this small community where I live. And added to the complexity of the situation for me was my fear that kicks in when I feel emotional about something, that I will appear "crazy like my mother."
For example, recently I was volunteering with another person in putting on a fundraising garage sale. This other person happened to be adult child of alcoholic. Well, she began deftly stealing things from the sale and I was aware of it instantly, and continuously as we worked together. Funny, I just had the insight that she probably began this behavior around her mother, who was too inebriated to notice. Yet I have almost a psychic ability when it comes to picking up on intentions and furtive actions. I was really upset that she was sabotaging the fundraiser in this way but I didn't really know what to do about it in this small community where I live. And added to the complexity of the situation for me was my fear that kicks in when I feel emotional about something, that I will appear "crazy like my mother."
When I read the description of symptoms, I cried. Instinctively, when I was younger and could not afford mental health counseling, I went to Adult Children of Alcoholic groups because I understood we had much in common, as I am an adult child of a severely mentally ill parent. Now I see we are in the same category! It is actually making me anxious to even get involved in this forum. But it may be a help for me now. I find I am no longer young and I am realizing that entering this phase of life may be a bit more troublesome for people with cptsd. Basically, I would say my youth was my best help for coping with this illness. I think many people reflect back on their lives as they age, but you know, I don't think we with cptsd like to do that very much.