I have known for a long time that I have CPTSD but had it confirmed by a psychiatrist recently.
24 years ago I stopped drinking ( my way of coping with what I called my crazies) and entered an ongoing addiction treatment program that I still attend today.
I used to have horrible anxiety attacks, panic attacks, nightmares and times of freezing up. I would just tighten my tummy and go numb.
Then I attended therapy for 3 years. I learned tools for managing anxiety and panic and went on a small amount of anxiety medication and an antidepressant.
I had to practice those tools regularly but I was finally able to function (reasonably well) in society, get a career and stay sober. For 15 years I had only minor emotional setbacks and the occasional nighmare or anxiety attack.
3 years ago my partner whom I have been with for 23 years, got cancer. I was able to go through the whole process with her and support and care for her.
When she was 2 years cancer free I began having flashbacks again. First emotional and then what I call "flicker flashes". Bits and pieces of memories from childhood and adolescence.
Anxiety levels skyrocketed and led into panic attacks nightmares and worse.
I went back on my antianxiety med and started seeing a counselor and psychiatrist 6 months ago.
My partner has recently been diagnosed with a "progressive dementia". So she cannot remember that I have this disorder at times and can't be very supportive.
My youngest daughter listens and, having experienced anxiety attacks as a teen, is quite supportive.
I dread the next 'bout' which usually starts if I am in a situation of conflict or hostility.
Does anyone else suddenly feel they are a scared little kid?
I know I was abused as a child and also involved in a terrible accident ... and some other very serious trauma.
Sorry to rattle on so long. My psychiatrist recommended this site so I can connect with others like me. I am 59 years old, have 2 married daughters and live in Canada.
Thanks for your patience! Di
24 years ago I stopped drinking ( my way of coping with what I called my crazies) and entered an ongoing addiction treatment program that I still attend today.
I used to have horrible anxiety attacks, panic attacks, nightmares and times of freezing up. I would just tighten my tummy and go numb.
Then I attended therapy for 3 years. I learned tools for managing anxiety and panic and went on a small amount of anxiety medication and an antidepressant.
I had to practice those tools regularly but I was finally able to function (reasonably well) in society, get a career and stay sober. For 15 years I had only minor emotional setbacks and the occasional nighmare or anxiety attack.
3 years ago my partner whom I have been with for 23 years, got cancer. I was able to go through the whole process with her and support and care for her.
When she was 2 years cancer free I began having flashbacks again. First emotional and then what I call "flicker flashes". Bits and pieces of memories from childhood and adolescence.
Anxiety levels skyrocketed and led into panic attacks nightmares and worse.
I went back on my antianxiety med and started seeing a counselor and psychiatrist 6 months ago.
My partner has recently been diagnosed with a "progressive dementia". So she cannot remember that I have this disorder at times and can't be very supportive.
My youngest daughter listens and, having experienced anxiety attacks as a teen, is quite supportive.
I dread the next 'bout' which usually starts if I am in a situation of conflict or hostility.
Does anyone else suddenly feel they are a scared little kid?
I know I was abused as a child and also involved in a terrible accident ... and some other very serious trauma.
Sorry to rattle on so long. My psychiatrist recommended this site so I can connect with others like me. I am 59 years old, have 2 married daughters and live in Canada.
Thanks for your patience! Di