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Messages - ph0e

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hey! Let's chat!
September 22, 2016, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: Kizzie on September 22, 2016, 05:17:26 PM
What we do encourage members to talk about (albeit not in graphic detail as the guidelines state) is how they developed CPTSD and what they are trying to do to recover. From the sounds of it your M's treatment would make CPTSD a real possibility but your psychiatrist has not diagnosed you as having CPTSD yet?

No, I'm not diagnosed. I've never explained my abuse to anyone (before yesterday ranting on and on to the mental health evaluator in the ER) so I've never had the chance to be. I hope I can get a better diagnosis than "Unspecified Psychotic Disorder" because what kind of diagnosis is that? That's basically just saying I can go psychotic sometimes, which is something literally anyone can do under stress.

But yeah! Even if I don't end up getting diagnosed, I think this forum will be a great help to me. It already has been, seeing that there's so many people out there I can relate to.
#2
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hey! Let's chat!
September 22, 2016, 05:26:33 AM
Quote from: Kizzie on September 21, 2016, 06:44:16 PM
As Dutch has said, please be sure and have a read through our Guidelines. It would also be good to hear more about how you developed CPTSD so we know which of our experiences will resonate for you.

Will do! So, about a week ago I realized (for about the bazillionth time, only this time it actually stuck) that a previous lover of mine was a, for lack of a better term, sociopath. Or at least a very manipulative person. (All of my relationships have been unhealthy, but that one especially, and it was also my longest relationship.) And while that made me feel bad enough, I was far from done with my realizations. I looked up symptoms of PTSD to see if I could possibly have it. That's when I found out about CPTSD, and when I realized I had experienced the symptoms since before I had met my manipulator. Then, the big realization struck. My entire LIFE has been spent around a manipulator, that being my mother. She constantly shames me, invalidates my thoughts, and generally triggers me, all in a covert fashion as to not make me see through the wool that's been pulled over my eyes.

I'm better now, though! I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I've been referred to a therapist and support group. Yay!
#3
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Music for recovery
September 21, 2016, 08:30:19 AM
As a survivor of a sociopathic relationship, a LOT of pop music does it for me. Pop music has to be relatable, and unhealthy relationships are far too common in this day and age. That's my reasoning behind that, lol.

Anyway, I'm really into psychedelic music (simply the most interesting) and two artists really stick out to me that I was actually a fan of while I was still in that relationship... Kinda funny looking back on it, I really did know all along. Anyway, these artists would be Tame Impala (Seriously! Listen to Tame Impala lyrics sometime. They'll blow you away if you've ever been in a manipulative relationship) and, if I'm in a more depressed mood, I'll go with The Antlers. My favorite songs by each of them... Probably "Tame Impala - Music To Walk Home By" and "The Antlers - Director". Both insanely relatable songs for me, they give me chills every time I listen to them.

Edit: Okay, one more. If you want an album that's more obviously about a manipulative relationship, there's this one as well.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hey! Let's chat!
September 21, 2016, 05:55:17 AM
Heya. I'm Sam, a newly "adult" guy (turned 18 yesterday!) from Seattle, Washington. My entire life has been a struggle between me and other people, whether it be my family, my classmates, my lovers... Everybody. I just learned about C-PTSD (and subsequently this forum) and identify heavily with the causes and effects of C-PTSD. I'm going to my psychiatrist as soon as possible to see if I can get my meds updated (my current SSRI and antipsychotic are only negatives on my life) to better fit me.

Anyway, as you guys know, people like me need support and acknowledgement, and that is something I just don't get in my life (save from the current person I'm clinging to and talking to on Skype constantly). I just thought I could make some friends here, I guess. You guys are probably the most relatable group in the world for me, and I'd love to get to know you all!

That's why I set up this account, and that's why I'd be super appreciative if any of you reading said hello. You don't even have to stay. Just a quick "hi" and, hm, maybe some helpful hints you've found to deal with your stress and anxiety? I'd be overjoyed if just one of you stopped by and told me about yourself. The more I know about you guys, the more I know about myself, basically.

Anyway, that's it for now, but I'd also enjoy telling you guys more about myself, as well! Just ask me anything, I guess. Alright, bye!