Messages

ThreeRoses,

Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful response! Its great to know that someone, or a group of people, gets it. I appreciate your comment about secondary wounding as I had not heard that term used. I get that from one sibling and a cousin--as well as my now former best friend. That one sibling is the only non-narcissist other than me in my family but since he too has little empathy I have only sporadic contact with him and his wife; unfortunately I think about them and their lighter scapegoating every day and that is why I am joining a meditation group that starts next week (I have a lot of trouble doing it on my own).

I have watched some of Richard Gannon's videos and think he is terrific! I also like Meredith Miller, who I had a skype session with. After listening to me she advised No Contact which I have implemented. Unfortunately I still am court ordered to have contact with the worst of the lot, my ex-husband, a few times a year for next 3 years or so as it relates to court ordered college payment communication (the horror).

I do feel that I need to take 100% responsibility for my life. I have just begun this new journey of taking care of myself. Each day is pretty tough right now though.

Best wishes,
Lula

Hello everyone,
Today I joined Out of the Fog and while reading some articles I realized that Out of the Storm would be a good place for me. I have a tortured past: imo, both of my parents are narcissists-my mom a covert and my dad malignant. My sister is malignant as is her husband and daughter. I then married a sociopath and had 3 kids with him. I've been an abused scapegoat all my life (physical and psychological abuse with a bit of sexual abuse too). I then worked at a job for 28 years where narcissists were common, it is a job of high authority which those types are drawn to. I gave raising my kids my all--too much of my all really--and helped my daughter deal with her father's severe emotional abuse. Well now I realize she is a narcissist too and has joined my family and my ex (they have always been close-big surprise) to abuse me more. She tells my son lies about me, etc etc. I was even physically assaulted by my neice a few hours after speaking at my uncle's funeral. This arose the wrath of my jealous evil sister is why. I could go on for hours here. Now I do a lot for myself and have a few close friends but I am sad, often depressed, and feel pretty terrrible. I know I have C-PTSD. I'm starting a mediation class next week. I recently lost a good friend because she said I should be there for my daughter. I can't deal with the shoulds and ought tos after my brutal life. I am afraid of friends turning on me and a future partner doing so as well. Fear is a big part of my life and I want the fear to go away. Thank you for reading.