I am new to this forum, although I have read it for a while. I was attacked by my ex-husband and when I called the police, they were not of much help. For the past 2 years, he had me believing it was my fault. After that night, I could not figure out what was going on with me. The serious emotional mood swings and the weirdness was so strange. One minute I was fine then I was not. I saw a few different counselors, and they did some talk therapy, but it wasn't very helpful. Of course it want helpful that I was still in contact with my ex. Earlier this year, I saw a psychologist, and when she started talking to me, I literally thought I was losing my mind. I could not figure out what was going on. I am finally with a trauma specialist who has diagnosed me with CPTSD. Found out that I was dissociating and having serious anxiety. It is weird because I feel like every time things start to get better, they get worse again. I feel like I work through some issues, but then they come back up again. But, I can say one thing- for the first time in 2 years I realize that I did not deserve to be abused and that it was not my fault. I find myself trying to explain things to other people, but they just don't get it. This is horrible. One day I am so motivated to recover, the next I am angry and hopeless. I really do hope things get better. I find myself starting to do things to get better, and then withdrawing from them.