I'm new here, tho my cptsd has been with me for awhile. In the shortest nutshell i can explain: i was raped violently for a period of three days 20 years ago. At the time drug addiction also complicated the recovery process.A coucouple of years later i saught treatment, with the focus on addiction. Years tapped by, i met someone, got married & life was peachy for awhile, until we decided to migrate from South Africa to Australia. My husband became crazy, & i went through a lot of drama with threats & cops. Needless to say the migration failed & i got a court order & a divorce from a forteen year marriage. Alone in a strange town, i fell apart, unable to deal with terrifying flashes from my trauma. It took a long time to get help & diagnoses were wrong. I crashed in three years & became this person i don't know & rather despise. Eventually with the help from a friend in Australia, i got more free time to deal with this. This is my basic question: i am once again surrounded by strangers, but being friends mainly with my Australian friend they are supportive under those auspices. They have an idea that i have ptsd, & my Australian friend, having a hard time with all of this wants me to share. Now, dealing with all my previous friend loss, i have severe difficulty including people about this, but its clear that my friend needs that network...how do i do this, how far do i go...when i really have an off day, that makes everyone uncomfortable, do i just shut the door rather with an excuse. I keep fearing that they will all run away.