I had a flashback today and I felt it coming on yesterday. I knew just what to do yesterday and informed my spouse of my emotional state. I went straight to my local PCM. I feel that comfortable with them. It took 3 years to build the relationship where I can talk to them about anything; after all this is a work in progress. After 17 years I went back home to take care of necessary business. I denied myself. I had convinced myself and so had others that my life was not as bad as I remembered. It was worse. I did my time and returned home. While there I realized I would need to seek out support and guidance. Thank you all for your bravery to openly communicate.