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Wow Schrodingers Cat you were spot on with your post.

I've got a lot better in the last 6 months thanks to anti depressants.

I no longer talk to my family after them taking all the profits and equipment from a business myself and my brother started. I was falsely accused of physical violence against my brothers Wife by my brothers Wife (although completed fabricated) and have been completely vilified since then.

I'm the only one in my family who is not physically abusive interestingly.

While I was in the business I was punched (if I didn't answer his questions immediately), spat on and body slammed (surprise attack because he said I was giving him "lip") by my brother and my Dad also punched in the face (because I smoked a cigarette).

I thought about the Parasite criticism and thought of someone I really love and I would never call them a parasite (or hit them) I love them so much.

You are right my parents are busyholics, and I'm an intuitive I can literally lie on the couch and just think for hours! think about my friends, funny things that the have said, surfing, traveling. I'm a happy consummate procrastinator.

Thanks

Hi All,

I have extremely low self esteem, terrible self care, cant even clean my house the last few years. I have a few friends but don't date (26 year old male). Get severe anxiety, body dysmorhpia and it takes everything to just get through the day. I turned to alcohol at 32 years old as I wasn't getting any better, my friends were married with kids so I just gave up, holding a romantic relationship was pure pain.

I do have a good job, and got a bonus this year (one of only two workers) because of my output.

However, I was very lazy teenager and kept this going throughout adulthood even though I graduated university, nearly own my own home, have $25000 in savings however I'm still subtley put down by my family as in hearing:

you never stick to anything
lazy
your ungrateful
selfish
a parasite

My Dad told me he knew I was "weird" by about ten years old.

But also I was given a lot of things, my parents are very intelligent, my mum always encouraged me in things.

So I'm left with the question am I sick, crazy of lazy?