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Ok this is my question to what N's do, or I need to get that book...yikes that is chilling info!! The so called "game" when going on around you (neighbor) in my case now, is me staying away, but even then the N seems to know, and then stuff is just completly made up, so it is hard to counter. One thing that I did was even tho I avoid her, if she is sitting in a group of people I will purposely walk right by, stop, say a few words to the group to show I am not intimidated by her. She has to adjust her behavior then sitting with her chosen peeps. example:I walked out, stopped in that group to pet a dog, and recounted a short story about animals/love...and then said "God works that way doesn't he?"  while looking directly at the N...and she seemed to not be expecting me to say that statement/seemed to catch her off guard me looking directly at her..and she half-smirked, and said Nothing!! I love animals and what I said was my true feelings, but I wonder if the N let her guard down just a tad around her peeps, and then could not react..then I left, another time she said something to demean me in front of this group passive-aggressively, I said "Thank You" and walked on by....I am trying the don't give her "fuel" and "become boring" to her routine....it is so very hard to "not" react defensively! I grew up with this, and I do not want it to rub off on me...fleas be gone!

Yes, I too deal with this, and am disabled (eyes/brain). Recently FOO issues came up, and although  difficult I had to see a lawyer. I tried to explain my situation briefly being N/C and my disability issues. I am fiercely independant, as asking for any help seems to bring up the past for me (weak, not good enough, etc, etc) so advocating for myself is a big deal. The lawyer thing did not go well. There are those in the world who are judgemental and insensitive even when you are paying them...ugghh! It tears down self esteem, and trust issues, I can relate, and although your responses help me feel less alone, I am sorry for what you all have dealt with.  I am trying to regain some strength, but I know one thing, I will seek out and screen lawyers better in the future, even though I thought I had already. Support to you all!

Welcome Sandstone, I am new here too and learning as I read. It has helped me alot to find understanding and validation...the feeling of not being alone in this journey!!

Welcome, I am also new, and getting the correct diagnosis is a big deal, and finding those who understand, like here at this group !!

Albnsc, I am new here, but feel like an outsider too in the world... n/c /far away from FOO. I am disabled (eyes/brain) and that also can be lonely, I know. I take the bus now, and find it easier to speak with almost total strangers, although I know I keep people at "arm's length"...I did volunteer for awhile, but I stay solitary mostly, and I keep trying to find other interests, right now Art Museums, don't know if that interests you. I have dealt with severe depression since childhood, you are not alone..sometimes just knowing I am not alone helps, being accepted right where I am by others who understand this journey, I can still have Hope, one day at a time, I guess is where I am at.🌷🌷

Thank you all. I live in a very high rent part of the country, but I still look online and try to weigh the pros and cons. I am able to self-numb myself, something I did as a child, didn't even know I could still do it until I saw burn marks on the top of my arms..taking food out of the hot oven I must have touched my arms on the coils, but did not feel anything..until one got infected..then I felt it!! I have changed a few things, but I seriously also thought of being moved to a different apt. The hallway guy...yah, I wanted to say to the mngr..."why don't you take him home and let him sleep, come and go in your home!!" He was not supposed to be in the building, locks were changed on the apt door to keep him out, but he still had a key to the building, sleeping feet away from other tenants doors...you just can't make this stuff up!! I don't want someone to be homeless, and by my calling a social worker, they looked into the matter and found the guy housing, I can live with myself that I did the right thing. Unfortunately I too have a fatalistic view, that somewhere else could be worse, an advocate who helped me said "Better the devil you know , than the one you don't"  The memory "Ghosts" I can sure relate too, and I have been running from them for so long, they keep tagging along inside me until I deal with them. I have a cat who I think has cPTSD,she is so intuitive of my moods, we help each other.  I had to re-learn computer skills, my eyes/brain get exhausted, so I did not address each of you, sorry, I am also sorry for what you have all gone through, but your validation of my feelings means alot, I don't feel so alone in this journey♡

Hello, I grew up in an alcoholic home (mother)..married/divorced from an alcoholic man, no contact, moved far away from all family, but then was sexually assaulted ( not rape) at my job (20 years ago). The guy was a predator, mostly women employees, no one would report him,  I stuffed the incident, then got really angry, and reported the guy to my boss, some other women came forward too..they got rid of him. Then two years later I was sexually assaulted/attacked (not rape) by my landlord in my apt...that just about did me in the emotional toll, moved after only 2 months.nice town too.  I have been in some good therapy,diagnosed PTSD,  but I learned to stuff my emotions so deep very early in life. I am over 55 now, on SSDI, and thought I had dealt with my past "stuff". Then during an official inspection, a year ago, at my apt complex, when the inspection guy walked into another room, the new maint. man walked to where I was sitting, made a sexually creepy, bizzare, sexually harrassment move, put his hands on me...I just froze, his face was so close to mine...it creeped me out so bad/his eyes...ugghh, I start shaking just writing this. No witness, off course, it happened so fast, they left...two days later I reported it to the manager, this guy was a pervert/con artist.. my gut red flags took off. Turns out this guy was a convicted felon, never,ever should have been hired..lots of complaints, ended up the guy was fired, but I was triggered so bad, studio apt, it is as if All the past trauma from childhood, job trauma, landlord trauma, it is all in the room I live in now. The bad manager who hired the apt MM Knew he was a felon and Lied, but the board let her keep her job!! Then a few months ago a guy was found sleeping in the hallway, my building, right below my apt, I reported it, bad manager, but it went on for 10 days, I had to call a social worker..again triggered..I went numb again, and now I have been scapegoated...even the good mngr/some tenants too, even tho I have lived here over 10 years with no problems/I am the problem now!!!.. I made a report to a large law firm, and another agency. Oh and my mother died last year..more stuffed memories....but my ability to live here, in this apt is so compromised, flashbacks, severe depression, almost agoraphobic. my question, if you lived in a room/apt where you were traumatized, re-triggered from early life and beyond, could you continue to live in that apt? I have tried, coping skills, etc,etc, but I feel like I now live in a prison, either in fight/flight/panic attacks...having to take meds to cope. I want to move, I don't know where, my self worth is very low, I just want to live in peace/safety..and this is supposed to be a good town. Sorry this is so long...I needed to vent...kind of lost myself....