
hi there,
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond! I appreciate it.
No.... I have not been diagnosed with anything. No CPTSD. Just had panic attacks for awhile, but like I said- they were a result of the overbearing PDs that I grew up with. My work is working on my anxiety, and the better I am at dealing with my family, the less anxiety I feel.
I have some scars, like many of us do- from childhood, but I do not suffer from intense emotional flashbacks. In fact i don't have symptoms of CPTSD
Thanks for the Peter Walker site, I have read through it extensively before! Without trying to give an amateur, or transferred diagnosis via my therapist, I would say it's a hunch that my fiance has CPTSD, but I cannot say for sure. Though reading through Peter Walker's site, and most descriptions of the condition, the words are like reading a description of my fiance. He is the freeze type, who has boughts of anger and rage when we are alone.
You are right about the acceptance part. I am thinking about that. There is much I accept about him, and there is some stuff I have to think about. i know I cant force or coerce him into therapy, so I have been telling him what I can, and cannot deal with. I have had to build some boundaries, because when we started I had none. This has been a part of my therapy work.
My goal of posting was hoping that someone would read my story and have some advice about how they cope with their CPTSD SO. I am tired of the way I parent him actually, and rather I am trying to listen and be there for him. I realize that my parenting ways and my frustration has lead him to not do some important work in the relationship. That's not helpful and I have to back off quite a bit. "He did say the other day that if we are fighting so much now,- how will our marriage be, I guess I need to go to therapy..." And that made me feel better. I know he is thinking it. So, it is indeed time to back off.
but again, I guess I came on here to see if anyone else had a story like mine. please share if you do. i am struggling with jealousy a little bit. I see other couples who have an ease to them, and I want that back. I guess its been a complex amalgamation of things that lead us here. His issues, my issues, frustration and resentment- its built now, and I think we need to start over with a little bit. I can start by understanding CPTSD and how it affects him because I have been reacting to his inner critic so much, and trying to fight it, and we all know that that doesnt work.
There's so much love and happiness built upon the foundation of this relationship. I want to do whats right for both of us, so we have a shot at a good marriage.