You know the answers. You spelled it all out. I love the insight about how you entered into the relationship during a trigger period. Think on that and don't repeat the pattern if you can help it. I have found myself repeating the pattern of attempting relationships to have some type of belonging. I will let go of all fear (simply because I lived in and faced fear daily for many years) and try to make friends with a rattlesnake!!! Yes I can do it... But who ever said the snake wouldn't bite me while he seemed to be smiling back at me? Just because I told the snake I wouldn't bite him doesn't mean he wouldn't bite me. We must take responsibility for our own security and stability. A life in moderation is often times foreign to someone who is raised in extremes. A normal, even, regular life can seem boring. If we place our life (and contraception) in others hands, we can't expect they will handle us with care. But..... Did you want to be handled with care??? What were your real motivations? We all have to stop and ask ourselves these types of questions so that we can help regulate our emotional responses. Oh... And boundaries??? We know little about boundaries.
All my true caring and love to you all. Such heartfelt topics. Xox.
All my true caring and love to you all. Such heartfelt topics. Xox.