Sorry that it is so long, it is my first post and I know I didn't need to write so much. It is ok if anyone needs to skip to the bottom paragraph.
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General Discussion / Re: CPTSD from childhood abuse – what helped you?
December 15, 2025, 03:57:26 PM #2
General Discussion / CPTSD from childhood abuse – what helped you?
December 15, 2025, 03:54:44 PM
I'm in my early 30s and believe I have complex PTSD from growing up in a chronically unsafe, emotionally abusive, and very unstable environment. I'm still trying to find the right words for everything, so I appreciate patience as I share some of my background.
I grew up with a mother who had severe, untreated and misdiagnosed mental health issues, including a later diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. From a very young age I was exposed to intense emotional volatility, neglect, fear, and abuse. My mother frequently and severely self-harmed and made suicide threats directed at me, often blaming me and telling me it was my fault or that I had "made" her do it. She would threaten to hurt herself if I "misbehaved."
These situations were terrifying and deeply confusing, and there was no adult who stepped in to protect me. This doesn't even touch on the silent treatment, rage, humiliation, mocking, or being left in unsafe situations with men, only to have those experiences laughed off or dismissed if I tried to speak up.
My mother's own upbringing was also unsafe, and my extended family weren't much different. My father was emotionally unavailable and lived with his own significant mental health difficulties, so I didn't have a safe parent or adult to turn to at any point.
On top of everything at home, I was bullied at school and had no real support system anywhere. Over time, I learned to shut down, stay quiet, and survive rather than develop a sense of self. I think I internalised a deep belief that I was a burden and that my needs were too much.
As an adult, I struggle with ongoing symptoms that feel very consistent with CPTSD. I dissociate and lose time, deal with chronic anxiety, experience shutdown and freeze, have difficulty functioning day to day, and struggle with significant body image issues. At the moment I find it extremely hard to leave the house and spend almost all of my time indoors. I keep myself very much to myself, avoid interaction as much as possible, and stay in my own space, but it still feels like my nervous system never fully switches out of survival mode.
I recently cancelled therapy after about a year because I wasn't sure it was helping. I felt increasingly confused and stuck. The therapist was trauma-informed and used IFS, which I know helps many people, but I don't think it fully addressed my level of freeze and dissociation or helped me understand what was happening in my body and nervous system.
Part of my confusion now is around what kind of treatment is actually effective for this kind of trauma, especially when dissociation and freeze feel so constant. I know there are different approaches for CPTSD, but finding someone who can really work with this and explain it in a way that makes sense to me feels overwhelming.
I also still struggle with a lot of self-doubt and minimising what I went through. I notice a strong part of me that feels the need to explain everything in detail just to feel sure it really was abuse or to feel validated. I've tried to balance that here by not saying everything, but that in itself feels difficult.
I'm hoping to hear from others who relate, particularly around what types of therapy or approaches helped you, what didn't help, and whether it took time before things started to shift. I'd also really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experience navigating therapy while living with long-term freeze and dissociation.
Thank you for reading
I grew up with a mother who had severe, untreated and misdiagnosed mental health issues, including a later diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. From a very young age I was exposed to intense emotional volatility, neglect, fear, and abuse. My mother frequently and severely self-harmed and made suicide threats directed at me, often blaming me and telling me it was my fault or that I had "made" her do it. She would threaten to hurt herself if I "misbehaved."
These situations were terrifying and deeply confusing, and there was no adult who stepped in to protect me. This doesn't even touch on the silent treatment, rage, humiliation, mocking, or being left in unsafe situations with men, only to have those experiences laughed off or dismissed if I tried to speak up.
My mother's own upbringing was also unsafe, and my extended family weren't much different. My father was emotionally unavailable and lived with his own significant mental health difficulties, so I didn't have a safe parent or adult to turn to at any point.
On top of everything at home, I was bullied at school and had no real support system anywhere. Over time, I learned to shut down, stay quiet, and survive rather than develop a sense of self. I think I internalised a deep belief that I was a burden and that my needs were too much.
As an adult, I struggle with ongoing symptoms that feel very consistent with CPTSD. I dissociate and lose time, deal with chronic anxiety, experience shutdown and freeze, have difficulty functioning day to day, and struggle with significant body image issues. At the moment I find it extremely hard to leave the house and spend almost all of my time indoors. I keep myself very much to myself, avoid interaction as much as possible, and stay in my own space, but it still feels like my nervous system never fully switches out of survival mode.
I recently cancelled therapy after about a year because I wasn't sure it was helping. I felt increasingly confused and stuck. The therapist was trauma-informed and used IFS, which I know helps many people, but I don't think it fully addressed my level of freeze and dissociation or helped me understand what was happening in my body and nervous system.
Part of my confusion now is around what kind of treatment is actually effective for this kind of trauma, especially when dissociation and freeze feel so constant. I know there are different approaches for CPTSD, but finding someone who can really work with this and explain it in a way that makes sense to me feels overwhelming.
I also still struggle with a lot of self-doubt and minimising what I went through. I notice a strong part of me that feels the need to explain everything in detail just to feel sure it really was abuse or to feel validated. I've tried to balance that here by not saying everything, but that in itself feels difficult.
I'm hoping to hear from others who relate, particularly around what types of therapy or approaches helped you, what didn't help, and whether it took time before things started to shift. I'd also really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experience navigating therapy while living with long-term freeze and dissociation.
Thank you for reading
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