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Thanks so much for sharing both, TheBigBlue. Already listening to the song and... well, to quote the song itself- feeling like "[I am] not alone." How beautiful! Sending you love as we both continue on our journeys, hopefully finding some peace and support right here.

Hello all! 

Where to begin? I guess we'll start with how I found Out of the Storm, which is probably how many of us found our way here... it was a simple Google search. My therapist (LISW) has recommended some form of group interaction, whether that be an online support group or group therapy or the like. I was able to find many a support group for individuals with your run-of-the-mill mental illnesses- depression, anxiety, PTSD, mood disorders, etc., but to find a community of folks dealing with CPTSD is more difficult. I'm so glad to have found OOTS, if only for that sigh I released upon seeing how many of you there are here. I'm not alone.

I have a history of single-event trauma (well, one relationship of trauma) with a PTSD diagnosis since 2016. I entered trauma therapy last year (2024) with a goal of targeting these traumatic memories for reprocessing. This therapist was the first with experience in CPTSD and almost immediately she added that diagnosis. I grew up in an environment with half siblings, and objectively there was "worse" trauma happening in their lives (with their other parent), and I think that is part of the reason I never even considered that my own upbringing provided buckets of its own attachment trauma.

One of my greatest difficulties in struggling with my mental health, which began at a very young age with onset of depressive symptoms around age 11, is that I feel that I must be the only one struggling so badly with x, y, and/or z. My mom didn't (doesn't) believe that mental illness exists, and I was told constantly that I was overreacting, over emotional, attention-seeking, making a big deal out of nothing, etc... and I suppose in the most black and white way, I can see how that would damage a person. But goodness does it feel weird to admit that! I'm here, I'm trying, and I'm hoping to maybe slowly chip away at that self-perception of being hopelessly alone in my struggles.

Thanks, friends. Looking forward to getting to know the forum and you lovely humans.

Hello TheBigBlue 
I'm also new here and decided to select a couple other "introductions" before creating my own. I'm in my mid-30s and feel as though I could've copy-pasted at least portions of your intro above. It wasn't until last year that I found a therapist experienced in CPTSD that I even fully came to realize the extent of my attachment trauma. I too feel grateful to have "taken the red pill," but find myself occasionally wondering if things were easier before I had these realizations. I also toootally get the feelings of shame and regret following a self-disclosure of any kind; even when someone has a neutral reaction, I find myself spiraling for days after sometimes.
Here's hoping we both find the community we seek here on the forum, or at least find a way to incorporate this into our support system.