Hello,
I'm ZaffaManz. I live in the UK. I haven't been officially diagnosed with CPTSD, but I suspect quite strongly that it's a part of my experience. I've done several online tests, and even a test through my therapy that all scored quite high. I am diagnosed with autism, so i'm not sure if it is that, but i do know that there is a lot of overlap. I've even begun to question my autism diagnosis, wondering if, for me, it's just trauma in disguise.
A short background as to why i align with CPTSD: My father was emotionally volatile and inconsistent. He still believed in corporal punishment. The rest of my family, while not as bad, have often left me invalidated about how i feel. My sister was physically abusive and emotionally abusive. I'm unable to trust my perceptions. My brother gaslights me quite frequently, which leaves me doubting myself a lot.
I'm here because I was recently dumped in a way that reopened a lot of wounds, and realised the support I thought i had isn't capable of supporting me. I'm on my own trying to weather the current storm. I also have realise i'm stuck in a cycle that i'm having a hard time escaping.
I am working to get professional support, but it's slow and difficult. So, in the meantime i though I'd search for a community with folk who could maybe sit in the storm with me so i don't have to face it alone. Even if it's virtual. I would prefer physical presence, but i don't have that at the moment. Just me and my cats.
I play video games, warhammer, enjoy doing to the gym, running and generally being physically active. I meditate as well, but a lot is on hold at the moment because of the current storm i'm in.
Thanks for having me
I'm ZaffaManz. I live in the UK. I haven't been officially diagnosed with CPTSD, but I suspect quite strongly that it's a part of my experience. I've done several online tests, and even a test through my therapy that all scored quite high. I am diagnosed with autism, so i'm not sure if it is that, but i do know that there is a lot of overlap. I've even begun to question my autism diagnosis, wondering if, for me, it's just trauma in disguise.
A short background as to why i align with CPTSD: My father was emotionally volatile and inconsistent. He still believed in corporal punishment. The rest of my family, while not as bad, have often left me invalidated about how i feel. My sister was physically abusive and emotionally abusive. I'm unable to trust my perceptions. My brother gaslights me quite frequently, which leaves me doubting myself a lot.
I'm here because I was recently dumped in a way that reopened a lot of wounds, and realised the support I thought i had isn't capable of supporting me. I'm on my own trying to weather the current storm. I also have realise i'm stuck in a cycle that i'm having a hard time escaping.
I am working to get professional support, but it's slow and difficult. So, in the meantime i though I'd search for a community with folk who could maybe sit in the storm with me so i don't have to face it alone. Even if it's virtual. I would prefer physical presence, but i don't have that at the moment. Just me and my cats.
I play video games, warhammer, enjoy doing to the gym, running and generally being physically active. I meditate as well, but a lot is on hold at the moment because of the current storm i'm in.
Thanks for having me