Messages

Hi Dark.art.girl
Just wanted to say I think you're incredibly courageous and likely on the path of healing.

This is a pretty powerful statement that sums up the struggle and how to maybe keep one step ahead

Motivation is hanging on by a thread--everything I do is done with will-power and the determination to stay on top of my health.

It took me years to share my pain with my wife - congratulations on being able to do that with your partner. Hiding things is something I am working through and writing about right now. The more you can share with the right people/person, I strongly believe the better

The loop you speak of really resonates. It seems some days (or months/years) every action, conversation instantly traces back to my trauma, to that fear, shame, like a gut punch. It does ease some times as I can say the past little while it hasn't been so noticeable. I wish for you that easing and for lots of peaceful moments today.

Hi Saluki, thank you for sharing this
It resonates a lot with me as well

I think that you could write both ways is very cool. Little me could do some neat things too
(I better our inner childs would be friends)

To me inner child work is just being able to talk with, encourage and protect those parts of you that needed it and never got it.
I cry whenever I connect to little me - he needs the love, and I have that in spades for him but he breaks my heart each and every time
One day I hope we can just read together or walk joyfully hand in hand or maybe I'd have him on my shoulders.

I never had a bond with my mother either - just fear. I'm sorry you didn't either and I wish that young you got the love they deserved.
I look forward to hopefully talking more

Hi everyone
I certainly don't want to be here in any kind of dishonest way..
A couple of years ago I was here as a member under a different name. I was scared being here (who says any of this is easy?)
I am very grateful to be back and see so many familiar people, all of whom I have nothing but tremendous love for.
I hope I can be forgiven for leaving and I hope to reconnect and share and continue to heal together.
Much love and peace to everyone here.

Hi everyone

This is a great topic that I'm heavily invested in

I'm autistic but I didn't realize it until about a year ago (in my 50s)
My theory is that trauma symptoms are so loud that they hide autism, and it was only after significant healing that the autism came to light.

Now I've been a year trying to come to terms with my autism, hoping for the day I'll just accept that I was beautifully made and not flawed in some way.
I thought it was like peeling layers of trauma to uncover autism, but then I saw an image of a trojan horse labelled trauma with autism labelled inside. This made way more sense to me as it likely takes breaking, not peeling to uncover.

My trauma was early - I've learned that I got very good at masking. The autism was probably a trigger for my parents which brought way more harm to me.
I still mask today probably way more than I don't.

Anyway, I thank you all for sharing. I like how Armee said it

I think one thing that is helpful from the autism side of things is self-acceptance. Understanding that your difficulties are a form of neurodiversity and that you are OK just the way you are. We can apply that understanding to our experiences of cptsd symptoms too.