Messages

Thank you for the warm welcome!  I do have a therapist I'm working with but figured and outlet and peer support would be helpful also. I look forward to being part of this group

Im doing this on mobile so please excuse typos

I was diagnosed last week...i still feel weird having a diagnosis. I went to therapy because everything is or was getting to be too much~ the loneliness, sadness, thoughts of self harm, anger, physical pain...

Anyway, Where to even start?  I have a long history of cutting, of physical and emotional abuse from my parents who both had alcohol problems. Met my ex at 15 amid he turned out to be even worse of an abuser. The sad thing with him is i didnt even have the courage or will to leave him, he left me for someone else and id probably take him back,it make me feel pathetic. I have some memories about my cousin "experimenting"  with me when we were younger at first i thought it was normal now i become uncomfortable if it crosses my mind and i push it away, I'm not sure what that's about.

Theres so much more that's notworth getting into now

I hate feeling so alone but I can't let anyone in. I'm always angry or feel so tense like I'm going to just physically burst other times I'm just so numb, I didn't even go see my nana when she was dying i just shut it out

So hopefully I can start to feel better

Alone, depressed, frustrated, tense, lost, .....

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where –"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland #1)