Hello, I am here to introduce myself. I am 24, learned about cptsd a few months ago, and have started therapy and medication. I have been so lost my whole life and always always thought I was the problem. I have a terrible relationship with myself. I am struggling so much these days, and I have been for a very long time. I just constantly avoided and ran away from myself and now the reality of my life is setting in.
I barely even understand my own trauma, but I struggle with feeling like I have the right to say I am traumatized because I feel like I did not have it bad enough.
What I am dealing with in the present is that I am completely alone. I have no close relationships, no friends, I can barely even manage acquaintances. I have so much shame and inner critic activity. I have pretty extreme social anxiety but manage to hide it well enough. I know I need to heal my relationship with myself, but I have no idea how to do that when I can't stand myself. I am suffering so much. I can't enjoy anything. I really don't see the point of continuing but I keep waking up every day and trying to no avail.
I want to keep this short, but I just wanted to put this out there and see what happens. Thanks for reading.
I barely even understand my own trauma, but I struggle with feeling like I have the right to say I am traumatized because I feel like I did not have it bad enough.
What I am dealing with in the present is that I am completely alone. I have no close relationships, no friends, I can barely even manage acquaintances. I have so much shame and inner critic activity. I have pretty extreme social anxiety but manage to hide it well enough. I know I need to heal my relationship with myself, but I have no idea how to do that when I can't stand myself. I am suffering so much. I can't enjoy anything. I really don't see the point of continuing but I keep waking up every day and trying to no avail.
I want to keep this short, but I just wanted to put this out there and see what happens. Thanks for reading.