I've tried to type this out a few times but am having a hard time with it. My name is Bean, I'm 50 years old and was raised with the mentality that men don't show their feelings. This was reinforced even more when I joined the military at 17. I was abused almost my entire childhood and teens. Pretty much until I left home. I couldn't and still can't remember majority or my childhood except a few things. I suffer from nightmares, low self worth, dissociation and I'm tired all the time. I have been seeing a psychologist for about 3 years now.