Messages

 Thanks Aphotic!

I guess you're right that there's not going to be a drug without side effects. Still dreading the trial and error period!

Would anyone mind telling me what depression meds they've had good luck with and any to avoid?

I've been sinking emotionally since late summer. I've been in a new relationship for about a year. My new partner is going through some personal issues and his behaviour under this stress is really triggering me. I asked for a relationship timeout in SSeptember to give him time to deal with his stuff and to allow my emotions to settle down.

I seemed to be doing well when I had some outside yard tasks to keep me busy and burn off frustration. When those were done I thought that focusing on my mental health would be a good thing to do.

I read Pete Walker's book and could really see myself and my brother and sister. I've journaled my hurt, gratitude, and constructive thoughts. I've read about positive energy and worked on setting positive goals and meditating on them. I've meditated on balancing my chakras. My last efforts were to add yoga with mantras.

With every effort I got feeling a little better for a day and then dropped further into depression. This past Saturday was very dark for me and a red flag that I need some serious help.

I'm really afraid of the side effects of antidepressants and fear that I won't be able to stand feeling any worse before I feel better.

I'd appreciate any advice from your personal experiences.

Thank you Papa Coco

Yes!  I can't trust my feelings but take the time to think about my successes. 

Hi!

Thank you to those that have created and support this forum.

I'm in my late 60's and have been looking for help for my mental health issues for many years.

My mother was quite beautiful and had a lovely singing voice and artistic talent.  She felt that she could have been famous if her parents had money.  I was the second child and the second girl.  My mother told me many times how I was supposed to be a boy because she only wanted 2 children. So I was a reminder of how tough her life was.  She would compare my faults to her beauty and laughed when I sang in her presence.  She did the basics of being a parent, but I don't recall her ever interacting with me.  As an adult she once asked me what I did for a living.  She was going to write it down because a neighbour was asking.

My dad became a workaholic alcoholic when I was quite young.  I was interested in the carpentry that he did and I loved to know how everything worked, but I was not allowed to.  He tried to do things such as Sunday drives and camping, but there was no interaction.  Just "sit there, shut up and be happy."  A smack in the back of the head was his way of giving attention.  There were never any positive words in our house only words like stupid, worthless, useless were used.  I was told that if I ever got in trouble with the police, not to waste money on phoning them.  It was not their problem.

I have had two unsuccessful marriages with men that had big egos and bad tempers.  I have always been self-reliant but I'm so lonely and have trouble reaching out to friends for company.

I was lucky that I found a job in a nice collaborative environment and I was able to gain some confidence there.  I spent about ½ of my career there.  I decided to go back to school part time so that I could advance my career but I had to move to a new town and job.  School went pretty well but my ability to thrive and grow in the new work environment did not. 

I hope that this forum will help me to feel less alone and unlovable.  Since I've been on my own after the end of my last marriage, my depression has improved but has never totally gone away.  Like teetering on the edge of a cliff.  Reading Pete Walker helped me to see that a group forum might help me to feel a little better.