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That is great - congrats on the first job! This is actually my third role post-grad! And the I am app is amazing!

I should use it more because I think affirmations can be very powerful. I also think there is a lot of truth to the "fake it til you make it" concept. Except without trying to act like somebody I am not. As a CPTSD survivor, I've spent my whole life trying to act like what I thought people would want and that's not being authentic in the world.

Thanks for your response and all the best in your job and in life!

-Kevin

Hi Kevin! Fellow pisces and CPTSD survivor here I totally understand the fear of starting a new job. I started a new job in June, my first full time job post grad too. I was sooo scared! Looking back, I am like what the heck was I so scared about? I love the job, my boss is amazing, and I feel super safe. I never even thought about any of those things really being possible when I got the job, all I thought about was how terrible it could be or how I would get fired, etc. It is easy to spiral into the negative thoughts. Sometimes I still have those thoughts about my job now. I wrote down a list of affirmations to read to myself that I keep in my desk drawer at work. Combatting the fear/anxious thought spiral at the start of the day with affirmations has really helped me. I also downloaded an app called I am that has daily affirmations that I would recommend if you are interested!

I hear that! my thinking is very distorted! I think that sometimes I find comfort in the pain because then I don't have to take responsibility for change.... thats just me being brutally honest.. I have tried therapy many times - I think it's time I start trying to put the tools into action. Thank you for the well wishes!! Hope you are well!

Hi Kevin - In short Yes, for most of my life, but I also have learned (slowly, I learn slowly!) that it is usually , for me,  groundless. But wading through the fear to get the other side where it's clear I have nothing to be afraid of,  can be an ordeal. But this has improved, for me, with therapy and understanding that my thinking can be distorted at times. Recognizing my distorted thinking and looking at alternative viewpoints has been very helpful for me. Wishing you the best in your new venture.

Thank you!! and yes, I promised myself I will at least try. It's a finance/accounting job, so sometimes I have to work extra hard just to feel like I am keeping up. My brain seems to forget things very quickly. Then I shame myself further for feeling like I am lost in the role.  Pisces here!

welcome Kevin,  congratulations on the new job!  it's not easy,  but I like to look at it as if we try and do not succeed ,  we didn't fail,  we only fail if we didnt try.  I am an aries,  and i go after things,  and I do not always succeed.  might not make sense,  but at leaast you are out there going after the things you want. 

As you should!! That is something I can definitely identify with. People have told me I am very smart and have had many successes. My inner critic is so harsh that I minimize them and focus in on the failures....

Yes!  I can't trust my feelings but take the time to think about my successes. 

Wow - ok that makes a lot of sense. That is definitely something I find rather hard is separating myself from the trauma/CPTSD symptoms. I have honestly gotten myself to the point where it's all I think about and all I talk about. My circle is pretty small these days as it's only really my brother, mom, and grandpa. Mom and grandpa have trauma of their own so they're not always the healthiest supports honestly. Really happy to be here and thanks very much for the well wishes!!

Hi Kevin, I struggle with Fear of many many things, failure being one of them. I'm 55 and my brain still does not work correctly, mainly due to early developmental trauma (pre-natal). I spend much of my day in guilt at the lousy job (I think) I'm doing, and in the evening and weekends, I often just want to lie in bed and dissociate.

So now we have to recognize what is truly "us" and what is CPTSD. Our fear is not us, it is our trauma.

Welcome to the Forum and good luck tomorrow at your new job. I will be thinking about you and hoping your feeling okay.
-chart

Hi everyone, my name is Kevin and I suffer from CPTSD. I just started a new job and I am so nervous I will fail. Does anyone else struggle with fear of failure?