Messages

I have. And I use it as a therapy. It is so much easier to organize thoughts on paper than to access those memories in real time. It's a good tool and I think it helped my therapist start therapy.

Instead of the painful process of disclosing bit by bit, I wrote up a brief history in bullet points, along with supporting documents like court records that indicate one of my perpetrators was successfully prosecuted.

In doing this I realize that my immediate family poses an imminent risk to my safety and wellbeing, if they are to ever be in contact with me. Their behaviour ranges from slander, emotional, and physical abuse and even death threats from one member. One of my relatives even lied about my abuse case and tried to brainwash me into believing it, and then frame me as lying. I suspect they have some form of a personality disorder. Another relative has been labelled a sociopath by the people he has victimized.

whenever I dealt with one particular family member I felt constantly invalidated, as they made false allegations against me. They repeatedly accused me of lying, to project their behaviour onto me. I remember being afraid of someone, and getting screamed at. A story was made up. It did not matter if they didn't witness anything; I would be framed as attention seeking.

I was often treated badly,  especially if there was some sort of crisis. This is the primary reason why I chose no contact. It is a consistent pattern with my family.

They also seemed to demand a win-lose relationship where they demanded unreasonable access to my boundaries and tried to expose my address. My reaction to them was framed as attacking and abandoning them, despite risking my personal safety by giving out my address to my abuser.

No one has to hit you to be abusive.

I'm sort of proud for getting away from them.

If someone aggressively and frequently accuses you of lying, it might be projection.

My reason for being here is because I struggle with anxiety that I think is related to my childhood trauma.

I am no contact with my FOO because of verbal and emotional abuse. Certain members have been physically abusive and sexually abusive.

My living situation is not ideal and I have had to deal with a strange situation that was caused by a previous superintendent, due to how he smeared me to his friends.

I don't like talking about some of the neighbours but some of them are AWFUL.  One, who I thankfully don't see anymore, actually tried to accuse me of breaking into her car. What triggered her was I walked past her car with my cat on a leash. I'm about the last person who would steal something. My neighbour laid their hands on me and really tried to provoke the situation.

No one takes them seriously but I don't think some of my neighbours are rational people and are actually dangerous.

I am not exactly safe living here- that is the bottom line. I am trying to keep myself safe but feel there may come a time I'll need to leave. I'm trying not to catastrophize.

My story spans a lifetime and is complex.

I struggle daily with anxiety and just don't have any other label that defines me.

I was diagnosed with ptsd at one point. I have had other diagnoses that never stuck.

I'm here. And I am trying to build a life worth living.