Messages

Wow. Sorry you're going through so much distress, blue_sky. It's terrible when our parents invalidate us. It's also the challenge, no? To confront our parents and stay grounded in order to know whether they are on our side and participate in reparations or whether they're unable to bare witness to the damage done by the sibling and so we know to take the next steps in going low contact or no contact. Please take good care of yourself especially in these moments of just you and your M. If things get heated up you can always say you've to take the fur babies out for a walk (assuming they're dogs).

The assignment sounds like a challenge. Are there libraries nearby if you need time alone so you can focus on work without your M possibly disturbing you? This can create a physical boundary between you and your M, giving you respite. Assuming, of course, you're not doing it at workplace.

And talking about workplace, I know how it is to feel insecure about it. Had lived it before through restructuring and ultimately through resignation (not that I advise you to resign). Sorry to hear cuts are being made. Are there freelancing projects you can take on to make up for the difference in worked days? Unsure what your work exactly is (and whether there're projects available on), but Freelancer.com website may be a good starting point. Would you give it a try?

Also, well done on participating to the emotional regulation courses! I do hope you stay in touch with that other member. It sounds like you started to form a bond.

Hi, Dina. I relate to CSA and drinking at 14yo. I consider myself an addict as alcohol can be a trigger for me when I'm under stress (the temptation is to reach out for that glass of drink).

Sorry you're going through so much right now, though I'm glad you're getting support. It gets worse before it gets better.

Just my opinion but I think it may help that your kids have their father to connect and regulate with and explain to them that you're going through a rough patch. Your well being is the number one priority (of course, kids matter too). As we hear on the plane: you've to put your Oxygen mask first before that of the kids. I'm rooting for you and sending support to get through this.

Take good care of yourself, sanmagic7.

Hi, Robert. I definitely relate to CSA and recklessness. I'm glad you're on a healing path for your C-PTSD. If you need frequent support, take a look at the journaling section: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=61.0 - there you can create your own thread and make as many posts as you'd like. Members often read the posts and offer support in the journal. Otherwise, the specific (sub)forums of this website may come in handy. Take good care of yourself and your dog in these challenging times

It may be a tough topic as in perhaps she's yet seeking reconciliation, but has D thought of no contact (and you as well)?

sanmagic7, has your ex husband and D1 been diagnosed as sociopaths?

Welcome. I cannot relate as I don't have an inner critic (I'm anti social) though I relate to the childhood abuse. I'm glad the forum is serving you well.

Before my mental breakdown due to countertransference with my previous schema therapist, I was out of emotional flashbacks - I could regulate even when I was on the receiving end of abuse from others (toxic workplace). After my mental breakdown I'm worse. Besides a headache at the back of my head, almost everything triggers me and I've the impulse to turn violent towards things and others. So I get it.

Founded by Marshall Rosenberg (R.I.P.). It is a method to 1) observe, 2) feel, 3) acknowledge your need and 4) make a request to the other person.

In his book, it guides people in making the distinction of what one feels, and what one thinks but also how to realize we all have needs.

Personal note: It has been instrumental to my healing.

Note: not to be confused with a method of communication that doesn't honor responding appropriately in case of being in danger/unsafe situations, as Marshall Rosenberg said himself.

Here's a workshop by him:

You're very welcome. Your posts can be as long or as short as you want them to be. Feel free to express yourself as you like (of course, within the forum rules).

Hope you're having a nourishing Christmas day. 🎄🎁

Remberin, so sorry you had to endure retraumatization at the hands of professionals who are there to, supposedly, help you in the first place. I had my share of incompetent people so I know how it is, although not to the extent of your experience.

If you're looking just for support on this forum, one place suitable for whatever frequency you decide on (hourly, daily, weekly etc.) is the journaling section: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=61.0 . There, you can write unlimited posts, in your dedicated thread, and other members will read your journal and even write to you offering support. Of course, this is just one approach - writing specific issues in specific (sub)forums on this website is also a viable option. It's up to you to choose what's best for you.

If you're in a crisis and you require immediate help, I strongly urge you to call a helpline in your country.

Such good points, storyworld. Not that suffering from OCD is fun (and not that I would know as I don't suffer from it, though I can imagine).

I feel sad, then i cry. Idk, it's irritating.

This might be depression. Colicmel, are you seeing a professional?

Nope
this sounds curt, and that isn't my intent. its hard to know what to say without t.m.i. or over explaining myself though

It doesn't sound curt at all. T.m.i. or over explaining is totally fine if you think it brings you relief (of course, as long as it isn't overly graphic as your post might get edited in that case - forum rules).

Would you consider seeing a trauma therapist? I don't know where you live (and that's totally ok!), however have you thought of looking for one in your area? If there aren't any (and I don't know what's your preference on physical presence), would you consider having online sessions? One way to search for a trauma therapist is through psychologytoday.com

Wow, Remberin. It looks like you're going through a lot. I'm so sorry to hear about your partner's kid. I hope you and your partner get support (this forum, relatives that are healthy and supportive, a therapist, friends) as I can only imagine how hard it must be to care for your loved one who suffers from cancer. My father, upon autopsy, was discovered to have cancer, so I can somewhat relate, though I can only imagine how it is when a child you care for is diagnosed with this illness.

It must be difficult to be in your situation where there is combined adversity. Please be kind to yourself and make sure to budget in self care practices.

I do not know what is the situation in your state and/or whether finances allow, but have you tried to see if there are any OCD specialized therapists in your area? If not, maybe a trauma therapist? I'm sorry to hear the doctors you saw were dismissive. Their role is to be curious and get educated on their patients illnesses, NOT to dismiss them. I don't know why, but I get the feeling they must have been psychiatrists (not that I've anything against psychiatrists -I'm sure there are good ones out there-, it's just that more often than not I've encountered dismissive ones that doubt their clients rather than befriending them).

I feel sad, then i cry. Idk, it's irritating.

This might be depression. Colicmel, are you seeing a professional?