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Thank you jdog for your kind words as I greatly appreciate it more than you could imagine at this point! 

Thank you for your kind words as I greatly appreciate it! I am so very glad I came across this site as trying to walk this alone, well, to say the least is a huge challenge! I look forward to reading other posts and checking resources so maybe I can try and help myself even more but also be inspired by the folks walking their own journeys! Thank you again - 

I am 55 years old. I have DID. I grew up in 30+ foster homes between ages 2 through 18 and spent up until 52 years old caring for 2 of the abusing foster parents until they died. I have been in therapy pretty much all my life and especially with 1 T for almost 4 years straight now. After the last foster parent died in 2012 I was ready to finally get into fully living life, working on my issues and believed I had a chance in this life. Well within 6 months I started tripping and spent 3 years fighting to find out I now have a neurodegenerative disease that is slowly incapacitating me. My T does psychotherapy which seems all we do is talk. They do not have much on ideas and leaves me guessing on my own to come up with things. She is EMDR but tells me you have to have a specific memory in order to do that work.

I have absolutely no family, never been married and have no children. I have a few friends but none that are there when I need support with this stuff or actually anything regarding my problems. When my T goes on vacation she leaves no backup and never has no matter how many times I have asked about this. She will be retiring in 2017 and every time I inquire about getting someone new so I can establish a trusting relationship, she never responds but sidetracks. She states she will NOT be having anything to do with me after she retires but doesn't seem to want to offer any suggestions of starting a transition. She was a adamant that she was retiring in 2017 and now is back tracking. She used to take my calls outside sessions but now has decided to set boundaries. So I am so very lost anymore.

I have started looking into ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) as at this point in my life I feel I would rather have my brain fried versus going like this until I die. I am feeling hopeless and there doesn't seem to be much more I can do about my situation as my T does comes to my apartment once a week for the session (she lives in the same town). At times I get angry and tell her she is just a therapist but she acts like she is way more than that because she does a home visit.

I am so very tired and do not know what to do anymore!! Any words from others here?