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Oh yeah! As soon as I can I'll be posting some of the new drawings I've made.

Ahh, sorry for the late reply! I wasn't able to get a cat, sadly, but otherwise I'm doing fairly well! I've also started seeing a neurologist for my frequent headaches/migraines, and it turns out i have a twisted blood vessel in my brain which means... I'm more susceptible to headaches  I've also been given a prescription for sleeping pills, but I have yet to buy them out of my own anxiety being so close to stuff like that, hmm...

Hello, it's me, Max, again I haven't been able to post recently because I've been a bit busy. I've recently switched to a therapist closer to my home (my old one was close to my college--but 3 hours away from home), and I'm waiting for an appointment with a neurologist under her advice.

Right now, I'm on medication for my Bipolar disorder, and I think in a few months time, I'll be ready for some talking therapy-- opening up about my past experiences and such.

On another note, an animal shelter near me is opening up free cat adoptions on Sunday, and well, I really want a pet cat... We have strays that stay outside our house, but they're not that affectionate I guess I'm a little starved for attention, since my mom is at work for most of the day. She's concerned that we might not have space inside the house for a cat, but she says she'll consider it! And I guess no matter what her choice is, I'll still have my lovely strays and virtual cats, heh :')

Mbr thanks heaps for sharing you art    I love the woman depicted, I see her 'healthy' rage, strong sense of self, her own agency and power. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts if you'd like to share, for example if it's autobiographical in some way.

Wonderful that you have a way to feel grounded & connected, you're of course very talented. thanks again for sharing, I enjoyed seeing your exhibition!

Ahh, sorry this reply is so late! I had a bunch of real-life stuff to deal with, heh :'D

All this is fan art of X-Men characters, but yes, I tend to insert my own feelings and experiences whenever I draw them! It's sort of like... what I want myself to be, in a way. Powerful, unashamed of my emotions, and being able to trust in my own decisions. It makes me feel so wonderful that you were able to gather that from my art! I'll be posting again soon enough, hopefully

I was suicidal for at least 3 years, but I've always kept myself going through sheer stubbornness and an appreciation for the smaller things. Here's a short list of things I live for :~)

• Watching sunsets
• Listening to my favorite songs
• Getting to wear my nice pyjamas on cold days
• Making friends with cats
• Good food!

Ahh, thank you all so much!!

I hope it's okay that I share my own art here! Drawing has always been a way for me to relax and distance myself from the stress around me... It's one of the few times that I can actually get my brain to agree with me and enjoy something wholeheartedly.

I've always been a fan of X-Men, since my mother and uncle were big fans and I pretty much grew up around the movies and comics, but I've only started drawing stuff inspired by it recently. These pictures are just a sample of my work, and they're from oldest to latest :~)

As I've mentioned in another thread, I get constant headaches/migraines/some sort of head pain which I'm hoping to get checked at the doctors as soon as possible, as well as various aches and pains around my neck and shoulders. Also random chest pains? Agh, I have a lot that I have to get checked!

I've had asthma since I was a kid, and during high school, it would tend to flare up when I was stressed, making panic attacks challenging :~/

I also remember back in school I would come down with a high fever once a month or so for no discernible (physical) reason, but now I'm sure it had something to do with anxiety...

Menstruation talk below, may be TMI!
My periods tend to be irregular and heavy, and I get even more emotionally unstable during them, and around a day or so before and after. I also get painful cramps and more headaches.
Menstruation talk over!

I usually tend to let these pass though, since being raised to stay stoic means I now have a warped sense of pain sensitivity. I'm slowly working my way into actually talking about my various pains and stuff, but it's an uphill climb sometimes! Can't help but feel like I'm just faking it/looking for attention :~(

I'll most likely go see a doctor as soon as possible! I've made plans to go out places this week, so hopefully squeezing in an appointment will be easy :~)

Recently I've noticed that my head aches a lot, and at most it's a few hours each day... The thing is, I'm not sure if it's migraines or simple headaches, because the one thing everyone asks me is "Is the pain unbearable?" which is a struggle in itself to answer thanks to my skewed sense of pain.

What I have noticed is that the aching in my head tends to be either "dull" yet I feel it equally around my temples, forehead, and sometimes even scalp and sinuses, or the pain "throbs" and I end up hearing my own heartbeat. (Which is quite unsettling.) The pain also seems to be aggravated by loud noises and bright lights. Sometimes I also start to feel nauseous as well.

I drink paracetamol to combat it, but it feels like the pain never really goes away, just becoming more manageable/easier to ignore... Following this chart of pain http://40.media.tumblr.com/ba2b35c756ef24ab26dacafd192d1914/tumblr_nozfr0vmUc1rok2dro1_500.jpg, I'd say my headaches range from a level 2 to 5. While typing this up, I'd say I feel like... a 3.5? 4.25? Like I said, pain is confusing for me to gauge effectively...

Anyone have any suggestions? Ideally I'd get this checked out by a doctor as soon as possible, but getting out of the house seems like a big challenge on some days, or I just plain forget.

Gah, inner critics can be such a pain! I've described it as like "being in an abusive relationship with myself" to others, and it can be really exhausting to deal with such negativity when it comes from yourself. Something that's worked for me is "fake it 'til you make it." It sounds silly, but after a few months of looking for the good in myself, I'm starting to get a better outlook :~D

I still have those frustrating days when I know my inner critic is just blatantly lying to me but I can't help believing it, but with a combination of sheer stubbornness and a great support group like my friends and the people on this forum, it's starting to get easier to put my inner critic in it's place!

I wish you the best dealing with your own critic, and in my opinion, you've already made such a big step acknowledging it's existence!

I have the same problem as well :~0 Growing up, I was the only child in a house full of busy adults, and most of them were emotionally distant, so I turned to people at school to get the validation I needed. Problem was, they quickly labelled me as a "gifted child," and started placing all these high expectations with me, so I cam to associate validation and achievements with attention and "love." (It doesn't help that my usually distant family would pay more attention to me when I bought home medals.)

However, over time, this lead to me being extremely afraid of failure and the (perceived) inevitable rejection, so I ended up stuck in a vicious cycle of procrastination and stressful cramming-because I was never sure I could "do it right." I still have vivid memories of panicking and crying over month-long projects that I would do the night before they were due, and not having the words to explain to my mother why I just didn't do it immediately. But I pretty much ignored this stress, which meant that come college, I collapsed without some sort of rigorous system/outside pressure to somehow "reign me in."

Currently I'm on a break from school for an indeterminate amount of time, and this has helped me relax a lot, but at the same time my perfectionism has seeped into things I enjoy :~/ It's frustrating to not be able to just do the things I want to do, out of fear that people will reject me. There's a lot of insight in this thread that I'd like to try, though, and hopefully I can bring this up with my therapist when we find a new one! (If you're curious, it's simply a matter of practicality. I'm pretty comfortable with my current therapist, it's just that he works near my college-which happens to be 3 hours away from my house. Bummer!)

Hello there! We're pretty close in age, and I feel like we have similar experiences. Not all abuse is immediately obvious, as I've had teachers who seemed caring and supportive to others, but who relentlessly pushed me past my breaking point and used my accomplishments to boost their own morale... It's a messy thing, really! I do hope that you find some answers to your questions here, I will wholeheartedly vouch that everyone I've met here has been very supportive and welcoming. I hope you have a great day as well!

Hello 1Life68! You've been through so much, and it's wonderful that you've been able to survive despite everything. You're amazing, and I think you should always remember that!

I'm still young, so do take this with a grain of salt, but I personally believe that some people aren't worthy of forgiveness. In my experience, it's been so much better for me to forgive myself instead. A lot of my self-guilting stems along the lines of "How could they do this? How could I let them do this to me?" I guess it's more of a personal choice? Some people heal better when forgiving people, while some people (like me) find comfort in their anger, in a way...

I was emotionally abused in school by teachers, and harassed by a boy who had a "crush" on me, and I dealt with that by cutting them out of my life. It's not for everyone, but I believe some relationships are just so toxic that the best thing to do is destroy them. Some people are jerks who don't deserve you and your forgiveness, and that's okay! You're not a monster for taking care of yourself :~) That's my opinion, at least.

Personally I'm working on trusting her and opening up to her more - I still have trauma from being gaslighted that I need to work on, but I think I'm getting there slowly!