Hello Everyone,
Short story long... I've been thinking about posting for a few days now. I finally cracked under the pressure of realizing I see my therapist tomorrow morning and I can't show up without having done my homework! Apparently you have to "do the work" on the healing journey.
For many years, I thought my traumas were normal. As I got older, I felt something wasn't right. I lost my temper easily, I struggled with my alcoholism, I remained in an unhealthy marriage, struggled with depression, an inability to regulate my emotions, etc. After making the decision to see a therapist and sharing some of my stories, I realized there was nothing normal about my childhood.
My very early childhood and adolescence included regular sexual and emotional abuse from my caregivers. In 3rd grade, we finally moved away from those caregivers because my parents were getting divorced. My mother got injured at work and battled an opioid addiction through my childhood. My father battled alcoholism and struggled to show up as a parent. His next marriage was to an abusive alcoholic. I became really good at dissociating.
My social anxiety is one of my biggest challenges, which is part of why I'm here. I don't have friends. I've struggled my entire life with friendships and relationships, only having about 2 close friends. I get so much anxiety talking to people, my mind goes blank, I avoid social situations as much as possible. I will sometimes literally pray that I don't run into someone I know before going into the store. I freak even when meeting or talking to my sons friends (high school age). Just thinking about it gives me anxiety!!
Anyways, thanks for reading. That's a little bit about me. It's nice to meet you all and thanks for being here.
Short story long... I've been thinking about posting for a few days now. I finally cracked under the pressure of realizing I see my therapist tomorrow morning and I can't show up without having done my homework! Apparently you have to "do the work" on the healing journey.
For many years, I thought my traumas were normal. As I got older, I felt something wasn't right. I lost my temper easily, I struggled with my alcoholism, I remained in an unhealthy marriage, struggled with depression, an inability to regulate my emotions, etc. After making the decision to see a therapist and sharing some of my stories, I realized there was nothing normal about my childhood.
My very early childhood and adolescence included regular sexual and emotional abuse from my caregivers. In 3rd grade, we finally moved away from those caregivers because my parents were getting divorced. My mother got injured at work and battled an opioid addiction through my childhood. My father battled alcoholism and struggled to show up as a parent. His next marriage was to an abusive alcoholic. I became really good at dissociating.
My social anxiety is one of my biggest challenges, which is part of why I'm here. I don't have friends. I've struggled my entire life with friendships and relationships, only having about 2 close friends. I get so much anxiety talking to people, my mind goes blank, I avoid social situations as much as possible. I will sometimes literally pray that I don't run into someone I know before going into the store. I freak even when meeting or talking to my sons friends (high school age). Just thinking about it gives me anxiety!!
Anyways, thanks for reading. That's a little bit about me. It's nice to meet you all and thanks for being here.