I would like to say thank you for such kind and informative replies. I do not have a therapist yet as I'm in the process of moving. I was turned down twice for " talking mental health" as they said I am to complex. I am supposedly on a waiting list for psychotherapy. However, unsure if this will transfer with the move. I want help, I really do! I'm thankful and grateful to whoever began this website! I don't understand the NHS or laws and rights for me. I am a British citizen with an American accent. Citizens advice has seemed to be of no real help. I feel like I'm just running in circles or no one wants to help. But again, I am thankful I found this site and maybe just for one day I don't have to feel so alone. Thank you x
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Pages1
#2
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Guilt and shame
January 03, 2016, 11:30:44 AM
Hi everyone,
I'm unsure where to post topics or to be fair how to navigate this site. However, I do have the diagnosis of CPTSD, clinical depression, among other thing like heart disease. I am 44 years old and am struggling on a daily basis, sometimes minute to minute. I was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland during the trouble and have been abused in many different ways during my childhood and even adult years. I left Ireland at age 12 and was severely abused by an aunt and uncle in England. I was sold into sex slavery. I was gotten out of that situation and moved to America where I spent the next 30 years. I returned to England two years ago and had a nervous breakdown. I was rediagnosed with chronic CPTSD and I just can't shake it. Actually, this is making me feel nauseous just trying to type all of this. I'm always so afraid. I want help, I want the inner terror I feel to stop! The hard thing for me I think is u actually have a bachelors degree in human services but I am unable to apply techniques to myself. I'm tired of hurting. I don't want sympathy or pity from people. I just want the pain to go away. I'm tired of living in the past. I don't think I deserve to be happy. I was always made to feel worthless or less than. I'm at the end of my rope so to speak and thought about trying to find some self help. I just don't know what to do. Thank you for reading and if you're a praying person I would certainly appreciate a few. I am even having a hard time with God as I understand him. I'm rambling, yes I know, but scared to stop. I try to fight these feelings but I can't. I feel such a failure.
I'm unsure where to post topics or to be fair how to navigate this site. However, I do have the diagnosis of CPTSD, clinical depression, among other thing like heart disease. I am 44 years old and am struggling on a daily basis, sometimes minute to minute. I was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland during the trouble and have been abused in many different ways during my childhood and even adult years. I left Ireland at age 12 and was severely abused by an aunt and uncle in England. I was sold into sex slavery. I was gotten out of that situation and moved to America where I spent the next 30 years. I returned to England two years ago and had a nervous breakdown. I was rediagnosed with chronic CPTSD and I just can't shake it. Actually, this is making me feel nauseous just trying to type all of this. I'm always so afraid. I want help, I want the inner terror I feel to stop! The hard thing for me I think is u actually have a bachelors degree in human services but I am unable to apply techniques to myself. I'm tired of hurting. I don't want sympathy or pity from people. I just want the pain to go away. I'm tired of living in the past. I don't think I deserve to be happy. I was always made to feel worthless or less than. I'm at the end of my rope so to speak and thought about trying to find some self help. I just don't know what to do. Thank you for reading and if you're a praying person I would certainly appreciate a few. I am even having a hard time with God as I understand him. I'm rambling, yes I know, but scared to stop. I try to fight these feelings but I can't. I feel such a failure.
Pages1