Messages

Hi,
Im on my first day back to University. Just 3 hours. Im now on beta blockers . Im worried about my social anxiety getting the better of me. I have to go or Im going to find the rest of the work hard. I need to attend the lecture if im going to attend uni. This is only part time. Ill want to work later.

I suppose Im just writing to get my head around going.

Thank you, i needed that

I self-sabotage too. Don't have the wherewithal to explain what is probably behind it in my case. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

I self sabotage a lot. I find education hard for lots of reasons. (Im a mature student) But sometimes I don't help myself and i don't learn.

I always run out of steam near the end of a project. I have really screwed up and i think ill be re-doing my project in the summer. I havent contacted my tutor yet, but i got some advice off other students. That was as much as I can handle.

I normally just hand in and move on. This time i took extenuating circumstances claim (10extra days). Which i didn't need all of. It should have just been a safty net. Its the first time I have ever taken extended time. And i just couldn't motivate myself. And i missed the hand in. How did i do that? I got 85% ( an A) on the first part of the project.

I lose motivation a lot and ill end up playing on the Xbox or watching tv. Doing work becomes hard. I cant think of how to complete a task. My brain goes fuzzy. I don't know what to do. Then a day before I suddenly know what to do and how to do it. Its always really obvious.

I really need to stop doing this, but i don't know how.

That was iry lol. Thank you for sharing it, it was really helpful .

I have worked in care for a while. You wouldn't be the only person who went no contact / low contact with elderly parents.

Just because someone is old it doesn't take back past behaviour, especially if they don't take ownership.

Thank you

I appreciate the comment. I don't feel that it is too late. Thank you for the time you have taken to make it.

Thank you

And im ok starting fresh

Thank you, do you find it gets better? (Don't worry about answering if its to much)

Thank you both, its actually made me feel so much more comfortable just hearing that

Hi this is my 3rd post tonight (it will be the last). I hope i am not flooding the board to much.

I am struggling with eye contact. I always have, due to childhood trauma. It took me ages to learn body language. I has got worse over the last few  years. Along with my social anxiety disorder.

The problem is i still look at people. I just look down. I am not thinking about were i am looking when I am speeking. So i can seem like i am stairing at peoples bodies. Its really embarrassing when i realise and im sure how i act when i realise makes it seem worse. (Red face, panic, don't know where to look).

The episode then triggers me and i am in a panic for a few hours. Possibly have a panic attack.  Im then wierd around them. I feel bad people don't deserve that. They don't deserve to be avoided, because I can not physically speak to them or look at them.

Has anyone had a similar issue? How do you deal with it?

Any advice on eye contact?
Thank you

Sometimes i daydream so strongly that i space out for ages. I could be making tea or anything and i just start daydreaming. I can stand there for an hour even. Ive done nothing else the water is cool. I normally think of something very emotive, oftento do with the past. (No clear triggers) Sometimes I realise during or as its starting and really concentrate on becoming present. Sometimes, in honesty im content seeing the daydream through.

I think it's natural to daydream, but not be completely lost in a daydream for so long. I believe that I am dissociating and would like to be able to bring myself out of it.

Im normally on my own when it happens, but it has happened at work before. I have had someone saying my name several times before i wake up. Its embarrassing.

It gets in the way of me being productive. Its so hard when i have stuff to do.

Any advice?

Hi, i hope who ever reads this is well. 
A bit about me. Im a returning member (different username) from years ago. (I tried to use my old user name, but it didn't want to work. ) I had a complex childhood and then my 20's were a bit hectic. I am now in a very settled situation. But my mental health issues are still there and not good. I have CPTSD and social anxiety disorder. Sometimes I feel like Im getting better, then out of nowhere it hits me again.