Bright red 86 out of 105 
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#1
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Piper Narcissistic Abuse Score
December 08, 2015, 12:00:47 PM #2
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Fugue
December 08, 2015, 11:54:44 AM
I have Dissociative Amnesia and occasionaly Dissociative Fugue. I am usually triggered into fugue by words. Not so long ago I was watching a TV programme and the main character said a phrase that immediatemy made me dissociate, and I *left*, I came to, because of the cold, miles from home (I live on my own with my dogs) at 3am, luckily here is very remote and I am perfectly safe doing this, luckily I had stayed on the roads and not gone into the forests.
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / elderly newbie
December 08, 2015, 11:37:59 AM
Hi I am Poodle, nearly 70 years old. Abused by my father from birth mentally and physically and then sexually. R***d aged 19, had a child, which I kept, she is the light in my life. Pushed into an abusive marriage before the birth of my daughter so as not to bring *shame* on my parents 
He was a narcissistic sadist and I was just a toy. so brainwashed, gaslighted etc that I developed Stockholm's Syndrome and never managed to leave much to the detriment of my children, he died in 2011 and for me the sky fell in. I found it VERY hard to adapt to life without being told what to do, I actually missed him 
Been diagnosed with CPTSD and DA, believe I have DDNOS though not
confirmed. Live in a foreign country where because of the language barrier I have been unable to get therapy. Tried Skype therapist and was left hanging at the end of the session, took weeks to get myself back. Had one therapist that spoke my language and she told me that I was beyond her after I dissociated very badly and she saw what I try so hard to cover up.
My kids are all messed up, the eldest girl is now a survivor herself, also suffered from PTSD but now doing better with the help of her husband, they have a platonic marriage as she can't be touched. Youngest girl, *HIS/OURS* got into a very bad marriage and I managed to help her flee the country with her daughter after 10 years. I also brought up *his* son from the age of three. That was another reason I never left, I couldn't take the boy with me and *He* always said, as he had full custody of the boy he could eaily get my girls too. I believed it
He was a narcissistic sadist and I was just a toy. so brainwashed, gaslighted etc that I developed Stockholm's Syndrome and never managed to leave much to the detriment of my children, he died in 2011 and for me the sky fell in. I found it VERY hard to adapt to life without being told what to do, I actually missed him Been diagnosed with CPTSD and DA, believe I have DDNOS though notconfirmed. Live in a foreign country where because of the language barrier I have been unable to get therapy. Tried Skype therapist and was left hanging at the end of the session, took weeks to get myself back. Had one therapist that spoke my language and she told me that I was beyond her after I dissociated very badly and she saw what I try so hard to cover up.
My kids are all messed up, the eldest girl is now a survivor herself, also suffered from PTSD but now doing better with the help of her husband, they have a platonic marriage as she can't be touched. Youngest girl, *HIS/OURS* got into a very bad marriage and I managed to help her flee the country with her daughter after 10 years. I also brought up *his* son from the age of three. That was another reason I never left, I couldn't take the boy with me and *He* always said, as he had full custody of the boy he could eaily get my girls too. I believed it
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