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I'll go back to her at least one more time, to try past the initial "get to know you" appointment. My biggest concern is her so far wanting to go by the books, and reading the list of symptoms as a checklist. Will give it another shot, if not I'll try to figure something out.

I know that nothing will be a quick fix, but I do want to at least see hope for progress. I'm determined to get off the bipolar meds and at least adapt to new ones for a while. Ideally would like to be med free, but if that takes a while I am still willing to do that.

Thank you! I just felt like after the appointment that I couldn't find someone to listen or point me in the right path. I'm still affected, especially now that I'm coming to the realization of just how... messed up... my life has been. I'm having more and more difficulties just daily in doing everyday ordinary things. I'm just wanting to take the right step and figure it out, but this going to the T just seemed like a step backward.

Met with the therapist, who was going by the book. So she didn't even account for long-term exposure to trauma. Just was reading off symptoms. She thinks I've developed my own coping techniques (un-acknowledgement of problems, avoidance, disassociation, and other probably not healthy things.) She proceeded to, according to that psychological diagnoses book, list off symptoms of dysthymic disorder as the issue. Never really talked about why I came in to begin with. Focused on the "I don't think I'm bipolar cause I've never truly addressed my past and this is probably what's actually going on."

I am still really confused. Fortunately my best friend is in the field and studied down here so she has connections with others so she's finding me a therapist who will actually pay attention to my concerns.

Hi, I'm Lizzy

I've previously been diagnosed as Bipolar but am beginning to question the diagnoses.It took nearly 5 years for me to come to terms with that diagnoses on its own. Other people close to me in life and who have had experience studying mental illnesses have suggested a form of PTSD. After reading up on the subject, and seriously evaluating my life... I saw the connection and the signs.

So. I'm confused as all get out, and just trying to make sense of things in my head. My first therapy appointment is tomorrow. I have a crazy big fear of just facing the past that I've been running from my whole life.

Is there a hope? A light at the end of the tunnel? Should I be this scared?