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Hello to Pammy Sue from Kyle (my IC's name)   

Engulfment is when someone starts to want you back and the walls close in on you.  You become overwhelmed by their expectations and fear you'll have to abandon yourself completely!

This quote really explains alot about my Social Anxiety with others; that is, so much of my anxiety about others and avoidance of them is about my fear of losing myself.  My F was an alcoholic and my M and B both have Narcissistic Personalty Disorder so amidst all their neediness I would often find myself disappearing     Hunh.

Tks for this thread BH!

[Lovely]

Lovely -Just want to clarify that it wasn't me who sent the EFT to you - I have used it (when I belonged to Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers), but didn't find it helped me that much (which is not to say it won't help others  ).

MaggieJay - so sorry to hear about your GP's reaction!   It reiterates to me why our planned info centre may be useful in terms of raising awareness about CPTSD.  If you are able to be open with him when you see him again in two weeks, it probably will help you a great deal to let him know how his approach made you feel.  You could print out some of the information about CPTSD to have with you so you can 'educate' him.

Also, there is a thread in Community Matters" titled "What I Want My Medical/Mental Health Professionals to Know" that you might want to post something to, again to give voice to your feelings but also for other members and guests to read at some point. 

I do hope that all goes well when you do see your doc. 

Hi Sandals:

I have no idea what Tapatalk is but I will have a look as soon as I have a chance - quite busy so give me a few days to figure out what exactly it is and whether we can/should add it here.   

Kizzie

Welcome InBedBy9!   

Glad you found your way to us, and given the warm welcomes you've received that you will feel comfortable here soon. 

Hi WhoBuddy and welcome to OOTS. As several others have suggested, you are in good company now.  Many of us here suffered from emotional abandonment in childhood which as you have undoubtedly read Walker (2013) describes as "the core wound in Complex PTSD:"

Our journey of recovery takes a quantum leap forward when we really feel and understand how emotionally devastating it was to be emotionally abandoned. An absence of parental loving interest and engagement, especially in the first few years, creates an overwhelming emptiness. Life seems harrowingly frightening to the infant or toddler who is left for long periods without comfort and care. Children are helpless and powerless for a long time, and when they sense that no-one has their back, they feel scared, miserable and disheartened. Much of the constant anxiety that adult survivors live in is this still aching fear that comes from having been so frightening abandoned

Unfortunately, I did not have an adult in my life who helped me with this either so I can relate to what you are feeling, and as well to your reaction of trying to appear normal.  A lot of us have lived behind a mask or facade of normalcy until we find out about CPTSD and realize that there is something at the root of those feelings we try to ignore or stuff down.

I also wanted to mention that there's some information about Bradshaw's work that may help you to identify why it bothers you (they do me as well) here - See http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=19.msg91#msg91.

Looking forward to talking in the forums!

April - seriously?  Why is that BadMemories?

Glad to hear it Butterfly 

Hey Des - it may be that your psychotherapist and GP would be willing to talk to one another rather than you having to try and explain the diagnosis and your symptoms to your GP. Just a thought. 

I have run across a lot of people who are afraid to do it. And from what little they tell me, it's because they can almost feel them or it's like they already know it will be a lot of emotion, so they are afraid to open that can of worms. And I try to be reassuring of that. It IS scary, but I figure the more someone is hesitant to do it, the more they NEED to, you know?

Yup sigh, I do know - well said.  Lead on Miz Pam!   

Ah undigested steak - so that explains all the indigestion and now more recently the acid reflux    Can I just take a massive dose of Gaviscon and be done with this IC work please 

OK Lovely, I just wanted to make sure you know about OOTF as the two often work in tandem (figuring out PD behav and how to respond/not respond to it, and recovering from CPTSD).  I am on both forums and a third for Social Anxiety Disorder which is a common characteristic of CPTSD. Glad to see you've used Medium Chill, it's amazing how effective some of the tools can be with PDs as they're quite predictable in many ways.  That's such a relief in a weird kind of way, finding out that it's not just us living in crazyville, but that we share this with many others who are dealing with someone's PD.   

In any event, glad you are here 

Yay Zazu  and Butterfly  - that's awesome!   


Pam is going to be our head cheerleader in this IC work I think 

Hi Lovely and welcome to OOTS.  I'm so sorry to hear about your childhood and that the re-traumatizing you have to endure because of your M and her campaigns against you. I think that is one of two common misunderstandings about CPTSD: the first is that all abuse is emotional abuse and affects our very core, our sense of our self, who we are and what value we hold in this world; and secondly, that when we are in contact with abusive FOO, we experience new trauma and reignite old trauma.

It sounds like you have an understanding that your M most likely has a personality disorder and I was wondering if you have joined our sister site, Out of the FOG? http://outofthefog.net/forum/  If not you might want to pop over and have a look as there's lots of info and support there for dealing with the PD people in our lives, strategies for example like Medium Chill "A technique used to disengage oneself from another person's drama when direct contact is unavoidable.Medium Chill is disengaging emotionally and giving neutral responses to what someone does or says. The focus is on you, your feelings and needs, not the other person or their feelings and needs. (See http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/MediumChill.html).

In the meantime, you will undoubtedly find a good deal of info, support and encouragement here for dealing your CPTSD.  Again, welcome! 

Hi Somnambulist and a warm albeit somewhat belated welcome to OOTS