Hi there,
I've been NC with my FOO for over two years. All that's left of that family is my raging ED/NM and her golden son, my NB. They are both cruel people, who have never been supportive.
Yet here I am, sick as a dog, and wanting to reach out to them. I've got a herniated disc, I need surgery, and due to insurance reasons, I'm on a wait list for the procedure. I've been disabled for eleven weeks, living on painkillers.
I
Know this is just pain, and things could be so much worse. It's just that I've been in so much pain for so long, that Imy resolve is getting weaker.
I'm wondering if my family knows (they do, someone contacted my brother), if NM really knows. I know she must know, but some part of me has this fantasy that she doesn't yet. That maybe seeing me suffer will stimulate some spark of sympathy, and she'll want to hold my hand and tell me I will be ok. I'm tempted to reach out, to break the NC boundary I put up to protect my own three little ones.
(Possible trigger) I know NMs reaction to my condition is to say this is Gods way of punishing me for being such a * daughter (I'm not a * daughter) . I know she's gloating.
So please, if you're reading this, and if I'm making any sense, please talk me out of reaching out to NM & NB. I'm so desperate for emotional support, and I'm trapped in a body that isn't working.
Thank you for your help.
I've been NC with my FOO for over two years. All that's left of that family is my raging ED/NM and her golden son, my NB. They are both cruel people, who have never been supportive.
Yet here I am, sick as a dog, and wanting to reach out to them. I've got a herniated disc, I need surgery, and due to insurance reasons, I'm on a wait list for the procedure. I've been disabled for eleven weeks, living on painkillers.
I
Know this is just pain, and things could be so much worse. It's just that I've been in so much pain for so long, that Imy resolve is getting weaker.
I'm wondering if my family knows (they do, someone contacted my brother), if NM really knows. I know she must know, but some part of me has this fantasy that she doesn't yet. That maybe seeing me suffer will stimulate some spark of sympathy, and she'll want to hold my hand and tell me I will be ok. I'm tempted to reach out, to break the NC boundary I put up to protect my own three little ones.
(Possible trigger) I know NMs reaction to my condition is to say this is Gods way of punishing me for being such a * daughter (I'm not a * daughter) . I know she's gloating.
So please, if you're reading this, and if I'm making any sense, please talk me out of reaching out to NM & NB. I'm so desperate for emotional support, and I'm trapped in a body that isn't working.
Thank you for your help.